Habeshahouse

Moving Again!

2009-10-31T01:21:00.004-04:00

This time it does not involve boxes and head injuries. I moved my entire blog, all by myself- over to another host that allows me to post my photos in a larger format. I also changed the name- since I have had many a complaint over how difficult it is to remember Habeshahouse. I changed it to something that is way more easy to remember.

Habeshahouse is now Villa Kulla.

So much easier right?

Well actually it is www.villakulla.us- and now you must remember the 'us' part at the end, it is not 'com', okay?,-and if this also is too difficult- then would ya' bookmark it, for crying out loud?.

So without further ado, I bring you.

Villa Kulla

And there is actually a little post, with ginormous photos waiting there just for your viewing pleasure.

Help EOR reach their goal today!

2009-10-20T11:59:00.003-04:00

I have taken the liberty of copying and pasting Paige's post from the Ethiopian Orphan Relief today to help them get the word out for their fundraising efforts.
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America’s Giving Challenge–daily $1000.00 prize (Facebook causes)

Many of you visit us on Facebook–we have an active cause page with more than 650 members. We’re happy you’re part of Ethiopian Orphan Relief’s success, and now we’re asking a favor of you:

Today’s the day! From now until 3 pm EST tomorrow (October 20) please, please, please take the opportunity to donate to Ethiopian Orphan Relief, Inc. The charity with the most donations in that 24 hour period will win $1000. A thousand dollars? What kind of orphan care project could we do with that kind of money? We could buy a playground, outfit a library or school room, buy an autoclave, buy antibiotics and other necessary medications, pay for a large portion of a water filtration system, pour a foundation for a small building,,,, the list is endless. So is the need. Make no mistake–every dollar you donate benefits orphans directly. Please help us win the daily challenge. We need your help in 2 ways:

Please donate 10.00 or more (you can do so today, and also tomorrow between midnight and 3 pm EST).
Please encourage all of your Facebook friends to do the same. So much good will come from so little effort.
Thanks Friends of Ethiopia–you all rock a thousand ways!

Paige, FB nag, and EOR’s annual fund chair

Distinguished

2009-10-01T11:26:00.008-04:00

Before I bombard the internet with massive cuteness I just want to say thank you for all the supportive and uplifting comments to my last 'secret' post. I already have so many great resources passed along to me by so many of you that I am up to my eyeballs in research and decision making, which is a very good thing. Feels so much better being pro-active.

Noah is on his way to the local University to teach his Latin class. He told me that he looked distinguished. Noah knows a lot of very big words and likes to use them whenever he can. For example he told me this morning that his oatmeal tasted very fascinating. Which I took as a compliment.

My mom just left to go back home and Noah has been very concerned that I might feel lonely while he and the girls are in school. He told me that he could easily skip his teaching job today to stay home and keep me company and so that I won't cry from loneliness. I said that he was very gracious but that he has a lot of work to do at school and then he informed me that he had quite a bit of work to do at home too; like lifting boxes and repairing stuff. He cracks me up.

Might be a little overkill on the photos, but it is so hard to pick just one photo from all this cuteness. You can't see it in the photos but there are, of course, leather patches on the elbows of his prerequisite professor blazer.

The "I Can't Think of a Title" Post

2009-09-26T01:14:00.002-04:00

I have finally figured out a way to password protect posts on my blog. I am password protecting some posts to protect the privacy of my kids and my family and sometimes just so I can swear freely without getting flagged. If you are one of my regular readers or I know you please send me an email at habeshahouse@gmail.com and I will give you the password.

Just click below on the show encrypted text after you get the password to read my first private post.

Show encrypted text

An Unexpected Surprise

2009-09-24T21:45:00.013-04:00

Josie lost another tooth today! She said that I had to put it on my www dot com (her words), because this is a noteworthy event (my words). And my kids know that if something noteworthy happens to them they get to have their photo on the Internets and then they get to sit and look at themselves all day.

So here she is from every angle- but missing the point completely she refused to open her mouth so that the gap where her tooth used to be could be eternalized forever

Is that redundant?

Eternalized forever.?

sort of like advance planning or free gift, or past experience, armed gunman, 12 midnight, she gave birth to a baby, end result or suddenly exploded, or regular routine and general public, or senseless death.... Now I can't stop. My blog is sort of the autobiography of my life and this is the kind of stuff I think about in my spare time.

Sorry Josie- here you go.

Lessons learned

2009-09-04T11:14:00.030-04:00

Helllllllllllloooooo.. Anybody still coming around these parts of the Internets? I don't blame you if you have given up on me. Can't believe I haven't posted in 2 months. And it is certainly not for lacking things to write about. I really wanted to wait until I could show you all what we have done with our new home. But at this point I can really only show what we have not done yet.

Why didn't any of you warn me that it is close to impossible to do any renovations or unpacking with 3 kids home. Why didn't any of you tell me that I should have put them all in summer camp while we settled in?

Huh?

You guys suck....

Instead I will post about the valuable lessons we learned while moving. Let this list serve as a moving manual for families with small kids. Oh- and I am sure Jess can come up with some tips too as she just did the same thing. Except she did it much faster and with 4 small kids, while also being in the middle of the adoption process. Oh and her home looked fantastic after about a week.

In my defense I do believe that Jess has a higher IQ than me.

1. PUT YOUR KIDS IN CAMP!
2. Do not ever attempt to put up wallpaper.
3. If you decide to remove a 100 year old marble mantle piece, it can be done with the back of your head. You just have to be sure that you place yourself directly under the mantle and then swing your head up as fast as you can. Your head will hurt like hell for a few days and your kids may never recover from seeing their mother cry like an infant, but the mantle will come loose.
4. Make sure your children are not around when your husband assembles Ikea kitchen cabinets. Or anything Ikea for that matter. Hammers will go flying as will the F word. Josie counted 75 times that Daddy said F.. and each time she came running to me to tell on him, making it impossible for me to get anything done. Thanks to Ikea I now have a 5 year old who thinks it's okay to say things like 'Hey Mom, can I have a fucking peanut butter and Jelly sandwich' or my favorite 'MOM, Noah keeps standing right in front of the TV so I can't see fucking Sesame Street"
5.Don't think for a minute that you can move a washer and dryer yourself. Just because your husband is not home does not mean that you can't just try to show a little patience. YOU WILL PUT OUT YOUR BACK!
6. You cannot make hard boiled eggs in a microwave oven.
7. Make sure you befriend neighbors in case your 7 year old decides to crack her head open on the kitchen island and you have to go to the ER in Beirut, I mean Baltimore. That way they can watch all your other kids and you won't be stuck for seven hours amongst gun shot victims with a bleeding child and two other children who are alternately screaming 'I want candy' and 'I want to go home"
7. Make sure you befriend neighbors in case your 3 year old decides to break his collar bone by falling off of a chair. (see 7)
8. Make sure you befriend neighbors to watch your other children when your 3 year old, out of the blue, suddenly spurts blisters all over the inside of his mouth- and you, nursing your mantle induced concussion, have to rush off to the ER again, so that you can wait for 7 hours to find out that he has a bizarre virus called Coxsackie disease and that you just have to wait it out.
9.Make sure you have a heart of steel as you watch your 3 year old suffer through a week of painful blisters and he can't eat or sleep or even play because he also has a broken collar bone. Make sure to get Codeine from your pediatrician (be sure to give your child some too). This virus is brutal I tell ya!
10. Make sure your new home has a working kitchen before you move in and don't think for a minute that you will last 6 weeks without it while you run into one plumbing and electrical problem after the other.
11. Make sure you turn the water heater from vacation mode. That way you won't have to take cold showers for 6 weeks because you are an idiot and never bothered to go into the basement to check the heater.
12. Soaking feet in vinegar and baking soda gets splinters right out.

And here is a sneak peak. I am going through a turquoise and yellow period, sort of like when Picasso went through his blue period. I may have to tone it down a bit, as this Swedish seaside cottage type decor just doesn't seem as appealing now that we are heading into fall.

Yep- Me and Picasso. A lot alike the two of us.

Support Lifting the HIV Travel Ban

2009-07-08T22:41:00.025-04:00

The United States has a policy that forbids an HIV positive foreign national from crossing it's borders without a special waiver that can only be obtained by HIV positive people who have relatives in the US and the rule excludes gay couples. This policy was put into place over 20 years ago, in the early stages of the HIV pandemic when it was still unclear how the virus was transmitted and was considered a gay disease.

This policy is still in place and it is completely outdated and based on stigma and ignorance.

The US is in the company of only a handful of not so progressive countries that implement this law- among these are Iraq, Libya, South Korea, Oman, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Qatar, Brunei, Saudi Arabia, Moldova and China.

It is time for the US to join the 21st century in lifting this irrational and prejudiced ban that does nothing but further stigmatize HIV positive people. It is ironic that the US prides itself on being a leader in the global fight against HIV/AIDS yet sends this morally reprehensible message to HIV positive travelers that they are not allowed to step foot on US soil, and (going against their own scientific community) that they are a public threat, and certainly not welcome here. This despite the fact that it is more likely that a traveller may get HIV in the US than bring it here.

Gay advocates, HIV activists and human rights activists have worked tirelessly for years lobbying congress to put an end to this travel ban and just about a year ago the Senate finally voted for repealing this law- but before the ban can be lifted, HIV must be removed from the HHS definition of communicable diseases. Since this is a federal regulation it must go through a 45 day public comment period, where after the HHS reviews the comments and the repeal can take effect.

It is a shame that it has taken over 20 years to address this policy, but now we all have the opportunity to help lift this ban and ensure that no HIV positive person will be penalized by the US government again for having this disease. The biggest obstacle in fighting AIDS is the stigma surrounding this disease. Perhaps now, for the first time, the US will have the opportunity of hosting a major international HIV/AIDS conference and help be a part of the solution to end HIV discrimination instead of part of the problem.

Please follow this link to the Human Rights Campaign to support lifting the HIV travel ban.

Here is a video by Immigration Equality that says it all.

4th of July, Goodwill and Zombies.

2009-07-06T20:15:00.021-04:00

Kaia performed on stage at camp for their 4th of July festivities and aced it!

It was a traumatic week for her because the performance involved a tribute to Michael Jackson, which involved a 'Thriller' dance performance, which involved watching the 'Thriller' video at camp over and over again, which involved lots of nightmares not to mention several zombie sightings around town. We tried in vain to assure her that zombies do not exist- except, of course, at 5.30 in the morning when she bumps into me on my way to the bathroom. (Yes, Kaia gets up before the crack of dawn each and every day- all year round).

Is it just me or does anyone else find it a bit disturbing that summer camps are showing the Thriller video to 7 year olds? - or am I just turning into one of those moms? Or maybe I have been protecting her too much and need to let her watch something other than Noggin.

Is a 7 year old too old to watch Noggin'?

In other news: We have been making a beeline for the local Goodwill store to stock up on furniture for our new rather large kitchenless house. I found two really nice beds for the girls for the grand sum of $15. Here they are painting them pink. We also found a cute little rocking chair ($5) which Josie painted turquoise for my front porch. My ass is definitely too big for this chair- I suppose now I will have to share my little oasis with those other people. John has banned me from anymore Goodwill shopping as our carport is now full of dressers, desks, kitchen chairs and one piano. Goodwill rocks!

When the girls aren't painting furniture or being chased by zombies, they spend their free time dressing up their very own little human doll- making it difficult for him to manouver his truck around the house. The dress keeps getting caught in the pedals- other than that he does not seem to mind wearing it at all.

The 4th of July fireworks display were watched with cousins from the top of our car. Josie told Kaia to grab the ears of the car to hoist herself up onto the hood. Upon questioning she clarified that the ears are, in fact, the sideview mirrors. Makes sense. Now that I am on the subject of funny things kids say, Noah told us the other day that his new best friend Bobby is NOT from Opia (translation:Ethiopia) but from Earth.

Gratuitous Pictures

2009-07-04T23:41:00.003-04:00

This Old House.

2009-06-27T00:15:00.019-04:00

We have been house hunting for the past month. It has been very time consuming and I apologize for going AWOL from the blogosphere.

One would think that it would be easy to find a great house at a decent price in this economy. But no, not really- not where we live.

Every Saturday morning for the past 5 weeks we would pack the kids in the car and set out on our house hunting adventure.

Every weekend we ventured further and further away from the area we know so well and have lived in for the past 15 years. The further out we went the bigger the houses became and the better the prices- until one day we found ourselves in Baltimore. Yes, Baltimore. We work in Washington. And all of a sudden we had made an offer on a house 45 miles away from where our daily lives are. All because I always wanted a house with a front porch and a porch swing.

I think we were just tired and really hot that day.

Today the broker called us and said that the owners accepted the offer.

We are now slightly shocked, yet the proud eventual owners of a 110 year old Victorian home in a strange land that we are not familiar with.

We LOVE the house. It has never been remodeled or updated. No granite countertops here, no siree. Everything is retro and original to the house. So we will be very busy painting and such for the next many...years???. We are so excited and can't wait to move in to our new digs. The commute will be long, but it is doable. All we have to do is drive a short 11 miles to the bus station, take 2 or 3 busses to the light rail station, ride for about 20 minutes , change to the Marc train (somewhere around Cleveland) ride another 30 minutes, hop on a metro, get off at Union Station and hail a cab and voila were at work. I believe somewhere in there there could be a ferry ride too. Piece of cake. Unfortunately we have to leave work again 27 minutes later, in order to make it back home again in time for dinner.

Okay- there is one more little thing. The house doesn't have a kitchen. But I am sure we can work around that. I mean it has a freakin' porch swing.

Something tells me that this blog will be morphing into a home improvement website very shortly. So if you are coming here to learn about adoption, Ethiopia, the travails of the Habesha family, or anything other than fixing up our new old money pit, then you might want to take a break from me for a while. On the other hand, If you are really interested in fixer uppers, home decor, remodeling and even have experience with this then for goodness sakes please stick around and comment frequently, because Lord knows we are going to need all the advice we can get.

Here you can see where the next chapters of our lives will take place. The next glorious chapters full of me not cooking or doing dishes ever again- just sitting on my porch swing drinking Mint Juleps, not worrying about going to the grocery store because the house doesn't have a kitchen and therefore no designated place for groceries. Man- I am going to have so much free time now.

Peacocks, Flea Markets and Living in my Car

2009-05-31T11:55:00.016-04:00

Yes, that is what we have been doing.

Noah really had his eye on this big clock. While the girls were begging for Ice Cream Noah was begging for a Grand Father Clock. hmmmmm.

Does he look disappointed?

I was begging for everything in this photo. But we did not have room in our car nor in our budget, even if it was a flea market.

While we were living in my car our little dog Dash kept himself company with any shoe or shoe looking object that he could find. He likes to grab them and then run for his life, jumping through his doggie door at neck breaking speeds. He finds a secluded place under a tree where we can't see him ripping our shoes to shreds. But John's size 16 loafers proved to be the challenge of his life. We could hear loud thumps early in the morning as he was struggling to lift the ginormous shoe out the tiny doggy door. We are still in awe that our 8 pound dog was able to drag the shoe through the entire house.

Please Do Not feed Fishes With Your Private.

2009-05-16T10:30:00.016-04:00

My parents live in Bangkok and are constantly finding amusing translations. My dad found these on the internets.

The Mom's Day Gift that Keeps on Giving

2009-05-10T16:52:00.009-04:00

Happy Mothers day! Hope you all had a lovely day.

I was served breakfast in bed this morning and it was a scrumptious feast consisting of Cheerios doused with Half and Half and sprinkled with onion power.

mmmmmmmmmmm.

And then imagine my surprise when I took a sip of my coffee and it tasted just like Dr. Pepper with creme.

I am one spoiled Mama.

After the breakfast extravaganza the girls sang a duet for me and then the gifts rained down over me and my bowl of Cheerios, one gorgeous drawing or poem after another.

The rest of the day quickly spiraled down hill as a family of critters have taken up residence in Noah's hair and they absolutely refuse to vacate the premises. We have spent the remainder of Mother's Day rewashing the entire contents of our home (we did this all day yesterday too) and torturing the children through endless hours of hair combing with the tiniest little comb through their tiny little curls.

It all became too painful for Noah and just as we were contemplating pouring Kerosene into his hair and setting it on fire- I was talked into something that I thought I would never, ever do. Because I do so love my Noah's big fro.

Alas, the critters won the war.

I will admit that I cried a little as I was shaving it all off.....sniffle...Let's just take one last look at his magnificent mane of curls....sniffle......

He is still a badass, so watch out.

Talent (less)

2009-04-25T11:38:00.011-04:00

A girl can get overly inspired and excited while reading posts of uber creative and talented blogger pals. Several of my blog pals have the ability to design, plant and grow amazingly nutritious gardens, and are doing so right now- they don't just grow your basic garden variety types of vegetables either. They plant Teff seeds so that they can make their own Injera and other stuff that I can't even pronounce. Some bloggers are artists too and can create beautiful Ethiopian images....on canvas... with actual paint....that you can hang on your wall- because that is how good these paintings are. Some can write in such a way that you wish they would write a book already or at the very least have their own news paper column.

Some can do all of the above for Pete's sake.

Edit* Minutes after I post this, I cruise over to Elsa's mom's blog to see what is new and wouldn't you know it! So now I can add photography to the long list of talents that abound on my sidebar.

Me? I can do nothing. Well, my mom tells me occasionally that I kinda have a nice singing voice, just before I get too carried away and start sounding like Carol Burnett or Ethel Merman. The first time she told me that I could sorta sing, I immediately went out and bought a Karaoke machine to practice and prepare for my music career. But unfortunately I could not control that operatic side of myself and thus had to let go of that dream.

I am not sure if my mom can be trusted anyway- Back in 1983 she told me that I looked ' just beautiful' in my poodle perm and MC Hammer pants.

I decided that we too would grow our own vegetable garden. If the Obamas can, so can we. Look what I did, or rather, didn't do.

Josie's is on the left. Mine is on the right. And frankly,I don't even know what we are growing because I forgot what it said on the seed package. I am pretty sure it is legal though.

Okay, so on to the next experiment in search of my hidden talent, because there just has to be something crafty about me. By the way, Josie is growing tomato plants in the backyard now. She is no quitter like her Mama.

I whipped out the kid's big box of acrylic paints and canvases and decided that I would try my hand at painting. I kept screwing up because... well, probably because I am not an artist. So I gave up on that and decided that decoupage would be more up my alley. Decoupaging does not involve true talent like gardening, painting, sewing, writing or singing. It was a perfect experiment for me. One basically just has to be able to breathe and cut and paste a bunch of stuff onto a canvas like a kindergartner. Although there are some decoupage artists that do amazing work like this lady. I began pasting copies of the kids paper work from Ethiopia and I was decoupaging the hell out of everything I could get my hands on.

I became so frantically caught up in it that I forgot that I have kids and absentmindedly just kept telling my hungry children "shhhh, Mommy is doing her art'. When it was done I thought it looked kinda cool, sort of like a scrap book page as wall art. I immediately started planning where I would have my artist studio and how I could start an Etsy shop- because I am a bit impulsive and full of myself that way.

Anyway here is the final result, if you click on the photo you can see a larger image that shows the background detail with maps of the kids birth regions, our children's birth certificates, passport pages, and our Ethiopia airline tickets. Then you and the rest of the internets can go right ahead and steal their identities.

If anyone wants to try their hand at this then I will happily do a 'how to' post. I am after all now the first and foremost decoupage expert on the eastern seaboard.

Easter Sunday (play by play)

2009-04-12T22:22:00.042-04:00

7.45 AM Easter Bunny makes successful drop off on door step of Habeshahouse. Large African-American male, in pyjamas, is reported running away from scene just moments after Bunny's delivery. He was later apprehended by wife and questioned by suspicious 7 year old- who wanted to know why Dad was outside in his PJ's, and if Easter Bunny is okay-

8.15 AM Suspected altercation between Easter Bunny and father is quickly forgotten upon discovery of Easter basket contents. Joy and happiness now emanating from Habeshahouse. Father goes upstairs to put on real pants.

9.45 AM After a sugar filled morning of pure chocolate delight, 3 year old son immediately dons skateboarding gear in anticipation of highly beloved, skateboarder, superstar cousin Frederik's arrival at 3 pm. Mother worries that son's head will get too hot in helmet for the 6 hour wait before the guests arrive, and immediately consults internet on the safety of long term helmet wearing. She is now behind schedule and must start cooking Ethiopian Easter feast for 9 people.

11.30 AM Mother has still not started cooking or anything else for that matter. Many distractions. Middle child's hair is in critical condition and must be tended to. Quick inspection of son reveals no heat stroke and no helmet hair so far. Phew. Only have time to do one child's hair this morning.

12.15 PM Still has not started cooking. Eldest daughter wants hair done too. Mother did not see this one coming. Needs to get started on meal. Daughter insists on long braids, she has short hair. Mother finds hair in back of closet , this takes 16 minutes. Mother is now stressing. Child is not. Child is happy with 12 inch long, lopsided, Pippi Longstocking braids.

1.00 pm Mother is finally cooking. Father is on beer run. Need. Beer.

2.00 pm Family arrives. Mother repeatedly checks under sons helmet for signs of heat stroke. Throwing all reason and common sense aside, as usual- she comes to the conclusion that wearing a helmet while skateboarding is just too dangerous. Son immediately recieves skateboarding lessons.

3.00 pm Late lunch is served. Doro Wat, Miser Wat, Tikil Gomen , Avocodo Salad, Injera and Beer.

3.03 pm Daughter welcomes guests and deftly teaches them how to eat Ethiopian Injera. Mother's sister repeatedly asks for a fork..... and more beer

She is proud to introduce part of her heritage to her family. Mother now thinks the stress was worth it- and makes annual note to self to be more organized next year.

4.15 pm Dessert is served. Cupcakes. Children decorate their own. Son gobs tons of frosting on purple Peep. The excess weight is too much for Peep and Cupcake falls apart, so does son.

5.00 pm Rest of afternoon is peaceful and relaxing. Kids are exhausted and go to bed early. Mother and Father spend quality computer time side by side.

This and That

2009-04-07T11:54:00.025-04:00

I have been busy- super busy, so busy that I haven't been able to keep up with my favorite blogs, much less write anything here.

What have I been so busy doing, you ask with bated breath?

Now that I have to write it down I can't really come up with anything that would look impressive on my blog; like I was terribly busy saving a beautiful and rare bird species from extinction, or I was really busy writing a critical dissertation on global poverty- Or I have been so busy working with a team of scientists to find the cure for Cancer that I really do not have time for this blogging thing.

But instead the truth just involved annual check ups at the doctor, a visit from my mom, work related stuff, and blech... taxes.. double blech....

Highlights these past weeks included teaching Kaia how to save her money. And I think I succeeded. She resisted the urge to spend her Kaia bucks for 3 weeks!- A feat that I have yet to accomplish myself. of course, I baited her into this by promising to double up her savings if she could keep it going. She decided to spend her hard earned money on this cute little spring outfit. Handing the money over to the cashier was traumatic for her, she had no intention of parting with it when it came to pay and decided that it might be better to hang on a few more weeks.

I had to pry the money out of her little hands, because, seriously, who can afford to double up the savings of a kid who apparently has no intention of ever spending it???

So saving is good- but everything in moderation, right? We wouldn't want her becoming rich too soon or worse destroying our family's far reaching reputation of being complete morons when it comes to money. Really it goes way back in our lineage and we are not about to let a money savvy 7 year old come in and set us straight.

Sheesh, what is the matter with 7 year olds today.

So even though it only took 4 minutes for me to corrupt my daughter at Target, she still wrote me this letter. The brown writing is from Josie. I think it is Sanskrit for "you look at least 10 years younger than all the other mems at car pick up''.

In other news: I got to hang out with Secretary Clinton. Yes I did. This photo was taken afterwards with my cameraman, who also happens to be my brother in law. We were invited ~~up to her office~~ into the lobby of the state department and spent ~~hours shooting the breeze with her~~ 3 minutes shooting a photo-op for the evening news. ~~She sends her best to you all~~ She didn't even notice us.

Lastly, in light of all the negative press surrounding Madonna's attempt to adopt another Malawian child, it was refreshing to read this ethical perspective today in a New York Times blog.

Also, I want to say Happy Birthday to Paige and urge you all to visit Ethiopian Orphan Relief and donate $40 to this worthy cause that Paige is a part of. I know that we are in tough economic times right now, but imagine how this global recession is affecting third world countries like Ethiopia, they need us now more than ever. This is all Paige wants for her Birthday- Happy 40'ieth Paige.

My Birthday Boy (3 yrs old)

2009-03-18T23:22:00.014-04:00

Oh and just for the record- I have trimmed the birthday boy's hair since this picture, as well as removed the Christmas wreath from our front door. Just sayin' for those of you who may be wondering. Sometimes you just need to take a photograph of your life to get your ass in gear, right?

Loss of a Hero.

2009-03-17T20:11:00.009-04:00

Today Haregewoin Teferra passed away. An incredible Ethiopian woman who, after losing her own daughter to AIDS, devoted the rest of her life to caring for HIV infected orphans. She faced tremendous challenges, but never turned her back on the children who needed her the most. Haregewoin Teferra's story changed my life. She will be missed.

Here is a compelling documentary from a few years back about the HIV orphan crisis in Ethiopia, featuring Mrs. Teferra.

Bracelets and Ethiopia (sneak peak just for you)

2009-03-12T15:01:00.020-04:00

What does this have to do with Ethiopia you ask? Well, everything of course.

The photo of this pile of lovely bracelets represents what, hopefully with your help, will bring me one step closer to traveling to Ethiopia to realize a dream of mine. This photo also represents my need to clutter the internets with yet another blog, because 2 blogs are just not enough for me.

I should probably explain a bit more about how these bracelets have come to represent so much to me and my partners in this endeavor.

Another adoptive mom, my sister and I have, in the past few months, been working towards starting a Non-Profit dedicated to supporting Ethiopian families faced with HIV/AIDS. This will happen through direct family to family sponsorships. Our ultimate goal is to keep these families intact. To assist the HIV affected parent/s or relatives in their efforts to keep raising their children. As many of us know, HIV/AIDS is destroying the fabric of families in Ethiopia. Ethiopian parents must survive HIV/AIDS so that Ethiopia does not lose a large part of a generation of potentially resourceful human beings to disease, poverty, lack of education, homelessness, orphanage life or adoption. I realize that it is a tall order, but we are planning on taking it slow and doing it right, helping one family at a time. In a nut shell we want to help stem the Ethiopian orphan crisis.

The formation of our NPO is well under way- but in order for us to start sponsoring families we must travel to Ethiopia to meet with our partner organizations. This is where my new blog comes into the picture. I am trying to raise money for our trip by selling these funky, cool bracelets that my mother has donated to our cause. I hope that you all will go have a look and see if there is anything you like. The sooner we can fund the trip the faster we can start connecting and sponsoring the families in need. Obviously we will need to sell A LOT of bracelets to even fund one ticket. The prices for the bracelets will be in the $15-$28 range depending on the bracelet. They are still in the process of being priced.

Here is the link to the website where you can purchase the bracelets. I will be adding more items each day and I am working on getting a paypal button on the website. In the meantime you guys get a sneak peak at what is available. There is only one of each item, so if you see one you want, please post a comment under the item and I will hold it for you until I get the paypal thingy set up.

Balmy, Grumpy Saturday Downtown.

2009-03-07T21:53:00.023-05:00

Last weekend we were snowed in, this weekend it is a toasty 70 degrees. It's kinda messing with our heads a bit. This morning J put on her bathing suit and pranced around the house asking when we could go to the pool. We had to let her down gently. To compensate husband took the girls on a little adventure- their first ride on the subway. They rode downtown to the mall and walked, ran, cartwheeled and visited a museum. The girls promptly fell asleep on the subway ride home. Guess it wasn't that impressive to them afterall. J was very grumpy all day, as these pictures show. Clearly a subway ride and a walk around our nations impressive capitol was no match for a day at the pool- even in the middle of winter. R was happy as a clam the entire day- look, she is even smiling in her sleep.

Gratuitous Pictures of the Day.

2009-03-01T18:00:00.018-05:00

Bracing ourselves for the incoming snowstorm.

Love and Lightsabers.

2009-02-25T18:52:00.009-05:00

So in continuation of my apparent February love theme, here is an actual conversation I had with J today after school. It seems that Pre-K is worse than high school.

J: Mom I have to tell you something important
C: What is it J?
J: Alex broke up with me today.
C: Oh my goodness, I had no idea that the two of you were an item.
J: A what?
C: An item.
J: what?
C: Nevermind, tell me what happened. Did it make you sad?
J: No
C: Oh?
J: I just yelled 'dont you ever break up with me again, you hear"
C: Good for you. May I ask why he broke up with you?
J: Because he saw me marrying Ian on the playground
C: Wow- You were busy today.
J: Yep
C: So are you and Alex friends again?
J; Yep- but he had to say he was sorry for almost cracking my head open with his lightsaber.
C: He brought a lightsaber to school?
J: Mom No- it was pretend-He swang it all over my head, it made me cry.
C: Oh that must have been scary. So I am a little confused. Who are you married to now?
J: I dont know. They are both stupid.
C: That is not a nice word. You probably should be a little more selective in your choices for marriage in the future.
J: Huh?
C: Well, maybe you shouldn't marry anyone you don't like.
J: Why not?
C: Ahem.... well, so you won't feel sad.
J: Can I have a juice?

Conversation over.

Love Is Never Having to Say You're Sorry

2009-02-23T09:27:00.029-05:00

Thank goodness I have been tagged again. I think Cindy over at Ethiodyssey senses that the blog and I are in a bit of a rut these days. The blog and I just don't have that same spark we shared when we first met. We used to be all over each other.....Things just aren't the same- although I do make attempts every day to rekindle the spark- Blog looks at me like I am just making small talk and this clearly is just not good enough for him anymore. He wants more. He even said that we need to make room for more than just the kids, and that he wants to know the deeper side of me. I told him that I wasn't sure that I had one. He called me vapid. I got angry and ignored him for several days. But then he beckoned me back with that damn, irresistible sidebar. You know- Blog has some very, very interesting friends that I am just not ready to give up.

For a while there he was convinced that I was just using him for the great company he keeps. I told him that I was just taking a little break. I came back and tried to post- but he wouldn't let me. He said that he was not an idiot and that he knew ALL about that other blog that I had started up. I cried "but it is not what it looks like". He shook his Header and Scrolled his eyes at me and said "Come on, you never were that into me were you? what are you doing with this other blog anyway?" I feebly confessed that "Yes, the other blog is very exciting to me, but we are just working on a project together". Blog wasn't buying this. He demanded to know what the other blog has that he doesn't. I began shaking, imagining him deleting his handsome sidebar right before my very eyes. My voice was trembling as I told him that the other blog does not make me do all the work like he does. That he doesn't just sit there making me write all over him without contributing a thing. That the other blog may not have a fancy sidebar like him, but his followers email me amazing stories. That I know exactly what our goals are and that we are working on something really beautiful together.

I continued bravely "it's not me, it's you!!". Blog asked "don't you mean it the other way around?". I said "no- it actually really is you- you are too demanding- I never know if I am good enough. Your spellcheck has that mean smirk on it's face and can't wait to highlight every other word in red, it's just cruel. Oh, and remember the time I was really upset about Sarah Palin and I ranted all over you, swearing like a sailor? You posted it! That was between you and me . I know because Rebakah told me, it was in her Reader. I think she even thinks you are a jerk sometimes". Blog starts shaking his Dashboard at me in a way that, frankly, I find a bit threatening. He yells " Well, maybe if you treated me the way Rebakah and your other friends treat their blogs we wouldn't be having this argument. They are attentive and thoughtful Bloggers, they don't just keep their blogs around for cheap thrills and to get Comments".

Blog goes on to tell me that he published the Palin post prematurely because, for once, I was expressing my feelings about something and not just taking the easy way out by responding to a tag or linking to someone else's work. I told him that I am just not very comfortable getting too 'real'- that I am terrified that my kids will read it one day and start their own blogs about how they had to spend years in therapy, because their mother just had to tell the Internets all about their lives.

Blog asks me what I want from him to make things work. I tell him that I just need to be able to visit here without feeling pressure to perform. If he could adjust his Settings and expectations a little and it wouldn't hurt if he updated his Design and Layout a bit, then I would promise to try to be more interesting. Blog flashed his handsome ~~smile~~ Counter at me and said "don't you have a tag to respond to? I promise not to post or spell check it until you are ready'.

I heart my Blog, we're in it for the long haul. I think I am going to go out and get him a new Widget today.

Charlotte's Needs.

2009-02-18T20:18:00.014-05:00

The 'I Need' meme is going around and I could not resist after having a good laugh over at Habeshachild and Rock To Wind a String Around. You do a Google search with your first name followed by 'needs' . It beats writing about our broken furnace or my kid's strep throat. Here are my needs, which are oddly specific.

1. I need.............dedicated revenue (wholeheartedly agree- where do I get it?)

2. I need.............an improv (I am already fully entertained by my blog buddies)

3. I need.............to look beyond banks (Probably should have heeded this advice years ago)

4. I need............ a football team (At this time husband is about all I can handle- but I will keep this in mind)

5. I need............ an upgraded emergency operations center (Agree- as soon as Honda comes out with a minivan that comes with a nanny/secretary, has a special naughty chair, refrigerator, first aid station, and built in flow charts I am SO upgrading)

6. I need.............prayers (but I will accept cash too)

7. I need ............shoes (duh, what girl doesn't)

8. I need.............a special helmet (uuummmm- I don't even know what to say, should I be offended?)

9. I need.............volunteers (even the internets thinks I need help over here)

10.I need............support (just got 3 new bras, so I am fully supported thank you)

Birthday Promises.

2009-02-12T10:43:00.019-05:00

Today is my husband John's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

John is at work now, but if he was home I would absolutely go completely out of character and let him drink beer and eat fried chicken wings and chips all day long- while watching ESPN.

But when he does get home this afternoon I promise that:

- I will not stare blankly into space, as he describes his latest computer gadget.

- I will not fall asleep on the couch, while he gives me a power point presentation about every item in the new tool set his mother just gave him.

-I will really try to listen intently as he summarizes the chapters in Stephen Sears' 527 page 'Gettysburg' book. I promise that today I will not yell "For the love of Pete- Please Stoooooop"'

-I will not yawn violently or have that pained look on my face, that I don't even realize is there, when he reads out loud the entire help section on his Mac computer, while I am trying to watch the news.

-I will not wander off in the middle of being told the same college story for the 465'th time about how he and his best buddy Larry snuck into the girls dorm only to get kicked out by the security guard.

-Likewise, I will not suddenly jump out of my chair to go wash the kitchen floor, right at the exact same time that he begins to tell me for the 175'th time the story about how he and Arthur Thomas went to Vegas and threw beer cans in the fountain at the Mirage.

-I will watch the entire 8 part series of 'The History of World War II" without complaining and breaking down into tears. Did I mention that it is on VHS? Did I mention that there are 8 parts? Did I mention that he has been trying to get me to watch this for 7 years? Did I mention that I will probably break this promise?

-I promise that I will not hiss at him when he passes the 2 rather large, and difficult to ignore boxes that have been sitting at the bottom of the stairs for 3 weeks waiting to be taken to the attic.

-I promise that I will not hiss at him when I trip, for the 9th time today, over the TV antenna cord that is waiting to be tacked to the wall.

-I promise that I will not hiss at him when I discover that he drank the last milk and the kids now must have apple juice boxes with dinner. There are only 2 juice boxes left. There are 3 children. I promise not to double hiss upon this discovery.

- I promise not to scare the bejeebees out of him today by asking things like ' wouldn't it be great to have another little boy' or 'wouldn't it be great to just quit our jobs and move to Ethiopia for a few years and work for an NGO' or 'wouldn't it be cool to move to northern Minnesota to be closer to Sherry and Rick and their kids' or 'wouldn't it be fun to take a road trip to Oklahoma with all 3 of our rowdy small kids, who cannot sit still for more than 3 1/2 minutes at a time, to visit Cindy and Craig' or ' wouldn't it be great if my mom could just move in with us permanently' or 'wouldn't it look nice if we repainted our bedroom a soft lavender color' or 'wouldn't it be much smarter if we traded cars and you had the mini van" or 'wouldn't you look dashing in a suit and tie' or his least favorite 'Wouldn't it be wise of us to begin saving money for a family lot at a graveyard now, aren't we supposed to be thinking about this stuff"

-I promise that instead of rolling my eyes and asking him to use his indoor voice when he belts out 'Volare' at the top of his lungs while washing the dishes- I will say that he has a lovely singing voice and to please continue.

-I promise that today I will take a shower and maybe even put on a little make up- if I can remember how.

On second thought- maybe we can just do dinner and a movie????

Happy Birthday K- You deserve to have a wonderful day. I hope you come home soon so we can celebrate.

Let's Share our Stories.

2009-02-09T15:15:00.017-05:00

In the past years I have enjoyed and learned so much from the Ethiopian adoption community of bloggers. These blogs are an incredible resource to parents who are just starting the process, or waiting or even those of us who are already home with our kids. There are parents who at any given moment are blogging about every possible stage of the adoption process. Sharing invaluable information that I am sure has enlightened many of us, as well as given us a sense of community and support.

There are posts that have made me laugh out loud and posts that have made me cry along with the writer. I have on more than one occasion jumped out of my chair and high fived myself at the news of a referral. Some share brutally honest raw emotion, others remind us to keep our sense of humor. Some make us search our souls and some ask us tough questions. Lots share amazing photographs from their lives. Many of you do all of the above.

So I had this idea. Wouldn't it be great if we could just collect our stories and put them in a book? A book of blog essays about Ethiopian adoptions? A gorgeous book that could serve as a resource and a great read for anyone who is just starting their journey to adopt a child from Ethiopia. A book of essays that could support families through the different stages. Real stories, by real people with real experiences.

Well, I think it would. I have researched this and it is completely possible. And I am going to go for it. So lest you think I am completely nuts, I ask you to find your favorite blog posts from any stage in your adoption and email it to me. Another adoptive mom and I are going to gather the posts and essays and sort them into subjects and chapters. We have to gather piles of posts to make a great book. They can be funny, sad, thought provoking, frustrated, confused, overjoyed. You can submit as many posts as you like- and if you don't feel like you have written a post yet that you want published in a book- then you can write an essay and submit that instead. You can sign with your name or you can make it anonymous. We would also be happy to credit you by just signing the post with your town and state. I am hoping to make it rich with photographs as well. So please submit photos from you trip, your kids, your preparations etc. and if you aren't comfortable sharing photos that is okay too.

The essays/blog posts will be divided into in subjects and chapters. Feel free to submit your favorite posts and we will include them in the chapter that they apply to.

1. The Decision to Adopt.

2. Why Ethiopia?

4. Sharing the News with Family and Friends.

3. The Wait.

4. Referral Day

5. Preparing for Child/ren's homecoming

6. Thoughts on transracial adoption

7. Thoughts on birthparents

8. The process

9. Traveling to Ethiopia

10. Meeting Birth Family

11. Homecoming

12. Transition

13. School/English acquisition

14. Bonding and Attachment

15. Famiversaries/Gotcha Day

16. Keeping Ethiopia alive and meaningful in our families.

I invite you all to share your suggestions for this book and hope you will all help in getting out the word, so that we can publish a wonderful book of stories from all parts of the country. The book will only be available to the Ethiopian Adoption Community and not sold in book stores etc. Folks will have to pre-order the book.

The book will be called 'Family to Family- Ethiopian Adoption Stories'. The proceeds of the book will go to an Ethiopian cause that will be announced once we know if we can get enough material to actually get the book published.

We have started a blog where writers/bloggers can get more information and follow along in our progress. Please link to this blog, and help spread the word. I am counting on you my faithful readers.

My Bloscars!

2009-01-29T17:04:00.010-05:00

Oh my Goodness.... I did not even realize that I was nominated for this prestigious award, much less that I would win 2 of them. (pause- to cry tears of joy) . So I have not prepared a speech, I really haven't (pulls small piece of paper out of cleavage). There are so many, many people I must thank. (another pause to cry- it's awards season okay? just work with me here people)

Gosh, where to begin. First I want to say that this little blog started out as just a small idea in my narcissistic head (batting long eyelashes demurely). For the first many months nobody would touch it with a ten foot pole. No big Hollywood names- in fact, I could not even find a potential reader.. Eventually a few readers did come on board, albeit reluctantly (Thanks mom, sister and brother) who dared believe that Habeshahouse would finally free them from having to listen to my self-indulgent, mind numbingly boring monologues about my life.

I must thank my personal trainers R J And N- who help me maintain my 23 inch waist and humongous boobs (adjusting plunging neckline of dress)- blogging is such an appearance oriented industry, and a girl is really only as good as her last profile picture. My little trainers keep me fit and healthy by keeping me on a grueling and challenging lifelong marathon that starts at the crack of dawn each and every morning. Without them I would not have the stamina for the late night keyboard tapping that is a blogging requirement (blows kisses to pint sized trainers in the audience).

I don't think the non-blogging world realizes how time consuming and detail oriented blogging is- to those who think we are silly and self absorbed, I say why don't YOU try spending 3 hours hyper linking to every single person you have mentioned in your post- or sorting through hundreds of photos only to spend another hour trying to download (or is it upload) them to Blogger- then spending another 2 hours trying to respond to a tag that has 25 questions, whereafter you have to link to another 35 people. All this while your life behind the scenes is falling apart. The 2 year old is now eating carpet lint, the 4 year old is shaving her legs, the dog has not been let out all day, the laundry is piling up and nothing is on the stove for dinner. We and our families sacrifice a lot in the name of blogging.

My heartfelt gratitudes go out to my trusted publicists and favorite bloggers. My goodness- the list is long, Julie, Kristine, Leslie, Cindy, Rebekah who have so generously linked from their tremendously popular blogs to mine, thus growing my readership. My agent, 3genfarm, who loyally comments on my every post, even the ones that are uncomment worthy and of those there are many, unfortunately.

My muses, whose blogs I must read every day- their honesty, humor and vision for the world is a daily source of inspiration to me- Filoli, Laura, Heidi, Elsa's mom, Sarah, Rachel, Jess, Paige, Nancy, Sunshine, Smiley and Sporty's mom, Shelby, Leah, Julia. Oh I just know that I have forgotten some of you. Oh no, they are telling me to wrap up my speech now. Okay, okay.

Before I get escorted off the stage I just have to thank blogger for giving me a place to rant, mystatcounter for giving me a place to check if I've still got 'it', spellcheck- oh dear-spellcheck where would I be without you! (now sobbing), my Iphone that keeps me connected to you all, and lastly Facebook for providing a safe place for me to go when I make a dangerously wrong turn on the internets roads and land on an adoption forum that has gone nucking futs.

I am humbled and so grateful to the Academy of Leslie and Laura for recognizing my little known space on the WWW, and for finding it worthy of Fabulousness. Thank you, Thank you so much ladies.

I have been informed by the Academy that I must pass this Fabulous award on to 5 blogging stars- all gifted writers who can turn their thoughts into compelling and juicy paragraphs. You know, the kind you can just sink your teeth into.

Cindy
Rebekah
Kristine
Julie
Jess
Filoli

Okay so that is 6, but I am an artist and counting was never my strong suit. Besides Rebekah is busy being Fabulous in Hawaii and does not have time for internet Fabulousness right now.

Here are the rules to receiving this award:

You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous bloggers in a post.

You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.

You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.

On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them

This Morning

2009-01-20T11:59:00.023-05:00

I am so Pathetic!

2009-01-14T12:42:00.010-05:00

I have been sick as a dog for the past few days. I am not even sure that dogs get this sick. Where does that saying come from anyway?

Anyone who has small kids knows that being sick does not exempt you from your motherly duties. Kids really don't care that you are sick and they still need to eat , bathe, yell, fight, play, make massive amounts of noise and get tucked in at night. Usually when I am sick I can still manage these tasks with a little help from Tylenol. But this time, man, I could not even stand up, let alone care for these little guys. The kids made their own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner. It took hours and the kitchen will never look the same again- I will be spending all of eternity wiping peanut butter off of every cabinet in the entire kitchen. Not to mention jelly, which somehow migrated from the kitchen to the couch, onto the remote control, to the stairway banister and ended up in the bathroom, which is where I finally discovered the brand new, but now completely empty jelly jar. This is what you get for being out of commission for about a day.

R took over the mothering role, the position she has been vying and lobbying for relentlessly since she arrived here anyway. She did a pretty good job too. J and N were hesitant at first. You can't really blame them, who wants to take orders from a 7 year old drill sergeant. I could hear them protesting loudly when R decided it was time for them to clean up their messes (which at this point were of epic proportions) and I heard N yelling 'you're not the mommy!'. R quickly retorted 'well I am the mommy you have for today, because your other mommy doesn't feel like being a mommy today" Which pretty much was all it took for me to force myself to a standing position. Although still rendered useless by R, I basically just followed her around and watched her parent the two others with envious ease and capability. She even got them in their PJs and into bed, while I just stood there in the background whimpering.

After that, I let her boss me around a little and then she told me she had some work to do and that I should just go lay down again. She force fed me some crushed ice while I asked her what kind of work she needed to do. She rolled her eyes, sighed and explained that there were dishes to be done, bills to be paid and that she needed to fold some laundry. The laundry part proved a bit more challenging, as she is terrified of going down into our basement alone, so she reluctantly handed the mommy reigns back to me again and decided that she would entrust me with those last mundane tasks. Then she grabbed her favorite teddy bear and tucked herself in, but not before checking on both J and N and making sure they were sleeping soundly.

I am feeling much better now and hope that they all can forgive me for my lapse in mothering.

Oh and I should probably mention that husband was out of town- don't want you all thinking that he is a total asshole.

2008 Year in Review

2009-01-03T00:46:00.002-05:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Christmas

2008-12-26T19:51:00.002-05:00

Since our family is partially Danish, mostly me, and I am the bossy one- we celebrate our Christmas on Christmas Eve.This was written into our wedding vows. We put on our fancy clothes, eat duck with red cabbage, sweetened potatoes and drink red wine. Well, the kids drink milk. Then we dance around the Christmas tree and sing Danish Christmas songs, well some of us do- others pretend to sing Danish songs or laugh at those of us who do. And finally we open all of the gifts, one by one, making it last all evening until the kids are all crying, fighting and exhausted. But before the late night meltdowns ensued- there was lots of fun, hugs and excitement.

This year all 3 kids got acoustic guitars (thanks Uncle Christoffer). The thoughtful children appeared in our bedroom at the crack of dawn the next morning to simultaneously serenade us, all playing and singing 3 different songs at the same time. It was so ~~frightening~~ sweet and so very loud.

The Annual Habeshahouse Hot and Not list (2009).

2008-12-25T21:49:00.001-05:00

Okay, since this is my first annual list, does it qualify as annual?

Also, to my much younger readers; I realize that many of the subjects below, who have made it on to my extremely influential annual Habeshahouse Hot and Not list, may or may not have been OUT or IN years ago. I ask you to please have a little mercy on a 40 something, frazzled, mom of 3 who is just trying to seem like she still has a wee bit of street cred. Thanks!

OUT

1. Ultra right wingers
2. SUV's
3. Poptarts (can we try this again people,. Seriously, they are made of cardboard)
4. Greedy corporate executives
5. Wall Street
6. Size O
7. Botox (c'mon, lets just try to grow old gracefully)
8. Wars
9. Starbucks coffee: Vente, Tall, Medium (stop confusing us please)
10.Cheese filled pizza crust (good lord, aren't there enough calories in these things already)
11.Walking around with a water bottle at all times (you will not die of dehydration at the mall, I promise)
12.Hurricanes
13.Crocs on adults
14.Cornrows on white women
15.Credit cards
16.Stainless steel appliances (I am just tired of polishing constantly)
17.Whole Foods
18.Dr. Phil
19.Privatized health care
20.Madonna
21.Pundits
22.Thongs
23.Condoleeza Rice
24.Spa treatments
25.Pottery Barn
26.Trips to the Islands
27.Norm Coleman
28.Polly Pockets (Polly's teeny weeny shoes should be outlawed)
29.Teeth whitening (enough already!!)
30.Grey's Anatomy (just can't bear to watch Katherine Heigl's character anymore- just can't)

IN

1. Progressive Politics
2. Hybrids
3. Kashi whole wheat waffles
4. NFP's
5. Main Street
6. Size 14
7. Sunscreen
8. Peace
9. Dunkin dounuts coffee: Large, Medium, Small (Thanks for calling a spade a spade, sheesh)
10.Injera and Wat
11.Walking around with your IPhone at all times (you very well could die if you can't check your email)
12.Calm weather
13.Flip Flops
14 Pony tails (who can afford salon visits these days)
15.Cash
16.Self polishing appliances
17.Costco
18.Dr. Laura Berman
19.Public health care
20.Duffy
21.Momdits
22.Spanx
23.Susan Rice
24.Book and Wine clubs
25.Ikea
26.Freshly laid concrete in the driveway
27.Al Franken (hmmm. maybe these guys need to be on my 2010 list)
28.Bendaroos (Man, do my kids love these)
29.Tea and wine stained teeth
30.Brothers and Sisters (Hey, Calista and Rob are adopting! although Calista does have Katharine Heigl'ish tendencies)

Thats my list and I am sticking to it! Please feel free to add the obvious ones I forgot.

Live and Become ( a must see!)

2008-12-22T23:43:00.001-05:00

A few years ago my mom came from Belgium to stay with us and she brought this DVD 'Live and Become'. It is a complex, wonderful and thought provoking film about a young Ethiopian boy, Schlomo, who is forced to leave his Christian birth mother behind in a Sudanese refugee camp during the Ethiopian famine in the early eighties. At the time Falashas (Ethiopian Jews) were being airlifted from these camps, as part of a relocation effort spearheaded by the US and Israel (known as Operation Moses), to become resettled in Israel. Schlomos mother, having just witnessed a young child die of starvation in his mothers arms, pushes little Schlomo towards a Falasha woman and tells him to 'go live and become'. Schlomo must go with this woman and pretend to be Jewish in order to escape the refugee camp.

He becomes adopted by a French-Israeli couple and the story follows his life up to adulthood. His longing for his birth mother and Ethiopia, the agony he suffers over having to live with his secret of not being Jewish- and the racism he, as a perceived Falasha, is faced with in Israel. The Ethiopian actors, who portray Schlomos coming of age, are amazing. And little Schlomo is just heartbreakingly beautiful. The actress, who plays the adoptive mother, portrays such an intense and deep connection with Schlomo that it takes your breath away.

I just cannot say enough good things about this film, even though I have yet to see it with English subtitles. My Amharic, French and Hebrew are a little rusty. But I became so compelled by this film, for obvious reasons, that I even contacted the US distributor hoping to be able to arrange a showing for adoptive parents in my area. The distributor said yes, but I could not get enough interest from our local Ethiopia adoption community!

The good news is that the DVD is FINALLY available on Amazon with English subtitles. Please see it. Oh, and while you are at it, go see 'Slumdog Millionaire' too.

Here is the trailer.

From the Bahamas with Love.

2008-12-13T00:58:00.002-05:00

(Not really me, but she does bear an uncanny resemblance to me from that particular angle)

Okay, Okay I will take a break from my blogging hiatus to fill you in on what we have been up to in the past month or so. Should I start with our fabulous Thanksgiving break spent in the Bahamas?

Oh... I forgot that was my sister.

I know- I forgot about that press conference I gave in Bangkok while zipping through Southeast Asia on one of my many glamorous world treks-

Wait- think that might have been my brother.

No, I will tell you about the past week we spent lounging under the Thai sun in Phuket, only rising from our pool loungers to refresh our Martinis.

No? right- that was Mom and Dad.

Granted my mom did just spend 6 weeks here in my house helping out with the kids during the longest election in the history of elections. I suppose she deserved some Phuket. But seriously, I have spent 6 years here helping out with the kids and I only get to go to Ikea- and not nearly as often as I deserve. (did you know that Ikea has a place where you can drop the kids off for an entire hour? It is pretty darn close to being a Phuket or Nirvana. You can shop, or eat shrimp sandwiches for an entire hour! What mom isn't yearning for some Ikea shrimp sandwiches sans children? You could even spend the time napping in one of their display beds- its wonderful, check it out).

(notice that they have two 'In' signs. No 'Out' sign. Don't let that fool you like it did me. They still make you come get your kids and take them home)

Bloggity blog blog.... It is very difficult to blog when your life has come to a complete stand still.

2 kids and one adult became sick here at Habeshahouse- not once, but twice. We have been holed up in the house for so long that I can't remember how to drive a car or interact with human beings- not that I ever was mighty great at either of those in the first place. And NO my kids do not so much count as human beings while they are sick. Well, what about husband you ask?- HA! Husband + Sick = NOT HUMAN BEING.

Since we discovered that we kind of have a knack for this hermit type of life style and we need to save money- husband and I made a pact; to get completely out of debt by the end of 2009. Now, I will not disclose on a public blog just how much money we need to save- but it is not pretty. We have been steadily working towards this for about a year now, but had a few monkey wrenches thrown into our plans at the time, such as an international adoption- That was a hefty unforeseen expense, if I ever saw one.

Anyway- we realized that since being holed up in the house by this sudden onset of winter illnesses- we have spent virtually zero dollars. During our incarceration only husband went to the grocery store, always with a list, but being a non-follower of lists he would come home with only a few items, none of which were on the list. Did I mention that he does not follow lists? I personally LOVE lists. My mom and I can sit for hours and make lists about pretty much anything. I have lists everywhere in the house- even lists that list where my lists are, but I digress. Husbands aversion to my list forced me into becoming a very creative chef. There is only so much you can do with 40 eggs, a pack of beef franks, a six pack of beer, and a can of diced tomatoes. That is exactly what husband purchased on each and every trip to the grocery store, never once bothering to check my carefully calligraphed list that I broke a sweat writing.

(not me either, and does not bear any resemblance to me. Just a representation of what my shopping lists look like if I am not in a big rush)

We ended up having to eat what was in the freezer. Honestly, I don't think I have ever really opened that thing. We just buy frozen food, put it in the freezer and throw away the key. Who knew that frozen hash browns, baby carrots and Ikea meatballs could taste so good 5 nights in a row. The good thing about kids under 6 is that they really don't care if you have the same 3 meals on rotation all week long. You just swap the sides with each dish and they never even notice. Also, being holed up in the house saved us a ton on gas and parking expenses. I had to work from home to care for the ill, because I am very Mother Teresa'ish that way, so I saved a bunch on lunches, etc. All in all it was a great eye opener and it has given us courage to really try to live like this. Although I do wish he would swap the six pack with a bottle of vino already.

I suppose I shouldn't be too jealous of my family's gallivanting around the world- after all, I do have my new concrete slab, which is still bringing us tremendous joy. Little N has graduated his love for me to the point that I have surpassed stickers and am now more loved than submarines. At least I think that was what he said. His words were 'I wov you mow than thubmawines'. Can't get much clearer than that.

I suppose I probably shouldn't blog after 4 cups of coffee anymore either.

Bahamas.....sheesh...hrmpf....

The Habeshahouse Elves

2008-11-30T01:35:00.002-05:00

I have a house full of sick kids and this has been making them laugh over and over and over and over again all day long. The kids had no idea that we were all such a great dancers.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Day 2 and still watching it

20 minutes later

Test Your Knowledge of HIV/AIDS

2008-11-28T20:43:00.000-05:00

In anticipation of World Aids Day on Monday- I invite you to take this quiz to see how much you know about the impact the HIV/AIDS pandemic is having globally. I hope that the current global economic crisis will not cause a decrease in the funding/research that helps fight and treat this disease. The poorer countries, that are disproportionately affected by the spread of HIV, need these efforts and funds so desperately.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T01:51:00.001-05:00

After devouring half of our 13 lb turkey, R stated that she was thankful for turkey, having a mom and dad, grandparents, a dog, cousins, aunts, uncles, Camp Rock, her teacher, and music. In that order. When it was J's turn she also said that she was thankful for having a mom and dad, and that she would be even more thankful for us if we would let her have ice cream for dessert. N said he was thankful for chocolate and stickers. The kid loves his stickers.

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving.

Exciting Times.

2008-11-19T20:21:00.001-05:00

Wow....Since the end of the presidential race, I have been completely devoid of things to blog about.

What is that old saying? 'If you don't have anything to blog about, for the love of God, don't blog!!'

I think I might have just made that up- besides I rarely follow my own advice. So I will write about the things that have excited me this week (NO, NO it is not that kind of blog for Pete's sake).

Firstly, my mother bestowed upon us a big, huge, honking piece of concrete that perfectly fits the massive crater at the end of our driveway, which has systematically ripped the entire bumper off of my car several times in the past years. Husband and I were so excited when the concrete laying work was done, that we repeatedly drove in and out of our driveway for the remainder of the day. Husband kept his head out of the car window the entire time, so that the kids and I could follow his running commentary on how now it finally would be possible to maneuver a 3 point turn in our driveway- because not being able to do so, for the past 6 years, has apparently left a huge void in our lives. He then proceeded to show us how much better, and more fun our lives now would be, with the addition of this concrete slab, by backing in and out. When it was my turn I just yelled WEEEEEEEE and WOOOOHOOOOO a lot. And so went our Monday.

Secondly, Dooce is pregnant. I struggled with whether I should link to her blog because the girl gets over 1000 comments a day and that is just not right. So if you check her blog please do NOT comment, save the comments for someone who really needs them.

Thirdly, my 2 1/2 year old son told me last night that he loves me more than stickers.

Fourthly, all of my kids had their annual check ups and have all grown and are doing great. This is always welcome news since both of our Ethiopian kids came to us pretty malnourished. My 6 year old daughter refused to have the lab take blood, because they never give it back to her. People should always give back what they take, right?

Fifthly, it snowed for 3 minutes yesterday and I got pretty excited, by the time I had located the sled it was over. But man those three minutes were exciting.

I fear that my days as a blogger are numbered.

Finally Five- and the Best Present of All!

2008-11-16T23:26:00.001-05:00

Here is our big girl J- who has been bouncing into our bed at the crack of dawn each morning this past week to ask if today perhaps was the day that she would become five years old. Her coveted birthday finally came yesterday, it was the longest week of her life, I am sure. When we went to see the movie 'Madagascar' this afternoon, she told a woman in the ticket line that she was 5 1/2 years old. Being 5 and 1 day was no longer interesting to her. She is already looking ahead to 6. Somebody put on the breaks please....

The fours were a bit hard on J- I do believe I heard a big sigh of relief from her when she blew out the birthday candles. A year ago she was 4 and THE big sister. The biggest sister in the history of mankind. Comfortable in that role and queen of her domain. Anything pink or involving a princess was all hers, all of the time. That all changed in March this year when she was bumped off of her throne by a force of nature named R, who is 6 years old going on 30 by the way. R would replace J as big sister with a capitol BIG, she dove into her new role like it was nobody's business. There was no transition period. No time for J to step down gracefully and accept her new role as little sister. R was way more sophisticated and all knowing and J felt conflicting emotions of awe and jealousy. She was sad. Alot. At the time husband and I just did not have the skills to help tone down R's will to rule the house. It was even harder for us to explain to J what just happened and why things had changed. R was going through so much trying to adapt to this unfamiliar situation. Understandably, she had an insatiable need to be the center of attention at all times, yet at the same time we agonized over seeing J struggle so much with her new role as little sister to a dominating virtual stranger.

All of last week R made sure to let is know that she was so not happy about J's upcoming birthday. Not at all. In fact, she mentioned several times that she had other things to do on J's birthday and did not think she would be able to make it (did I mention she is 6 years old?). We spent a lot of time assuring R that her day would come too, but that we expected her to participate and be kind even if she was not happy about it on the inside.

We braced ourselves for a rough day for R that ultimately would affect J's special day. We feared that it was not going to be pretty either.

But yesterday something amazing and unexpected unfolded right before our eyes. R quietly sat back and let J have her day- The entire day. She sang the birthday song enthusiastically and louder than anyone. She happily watched J open one present after the other and she let herself have fun without stealing J's thunder. Anyone who has been through an adoption of an older child and has disrupted birth order- might understand what a huge deal this was for all of us. When I tucked R into bed last night she told me how much she enjoyed J's birthday and how happy she had been all day to be a part of it.

R learned a valuable and rewarding lesson yesterday about sharing in someone else's happiness- about stepping aside so others can be in the limelight once in a while. R is learning that she does not need to rule with an iron fist to get the attention and respect that she deserves. I am so proud of her.

When J blew out those candles yesterday, it was the beginning of J and R being more than sisters and rivals. It was the beginning of a life long friendship.

What a great birthday gift from one sister to another.

School Celebration

Smart People I Know (well sorta know)

2008-11-06T12:34:00.001-05:00

My workday started at 8 am Tuesday morning and ended last night at 8 pm. Needless to say I am having trouble gathering my thoughts or forming coherent sentences right now. Cindy exactly captures my post-election night thoughts and writes about them more eloquently than I ever could- please read her smart post here.

I think I will be signing off on the political posts for a little while and return to our regular programming. Okay, so maybe, just maybe I might post a little something when he chooses his cabinet. Then I promise to stop.

Let's Watch it Again!

2008-11-05T11:49:00.001-05:00

Woooooooooooooooooo

2008-11-04T23:06:00.001-05:00

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I can't believe it!!!!!

My Daughter the Swing Voter

2008-10-30T22:12:00.001-04:00

While rummaging through my first graders back pack yesterday- looking for homework, half eaten apples, stray sweaters etc, I unexpectedly came across a photo of McCain peeping out beneath her folders.Yikes! This was so not what I was expecting to find in a Hello Kitty backpack. My first reaction was outrage. Surely her school was not stuffing the back packs of innocent children with election propaganda?

I regained my composure when I remembered that we live in Montgomery County, Maryland, where any McCain supporter would most certainly find themselves deported to Texas, or at the very least suffer a terrible stoning by their neighbors. The picture turned out to be a harmless Scholastic pamphlet explaining the election process in an age appropriate way.

It turns out that R's school had arranged a mock election for the students to cast a ballot for their candidate of choice. I immediately did an exit poll on my 6 year old, because I am ruthless that way. With a tremble in her voice and I detected some fear in her eyes too, she assured me that she did vote for Obama.... Phew... we both sighed in relief, when that exchange was over. I found out shortly thereafter, though, that it really was a close call. R explained what a tough decision it had been for her... What? A tough decision? are you kidding me? What the heck is the matter with 6 year olds today?

Our next exchange went something like this.

Me: "WHY, WHY was it a tough decision? Tell me WHY right now? (no pressure in my voice at all, of course)
R: "First I marked an X by McCain'
Me: "But WHY R? WHY would you do such a thing?
R: "I am so sorry Mom, it's just that he....well....Mom....he has 4 dogs, did you know that?
Me: "Yes, but Obama has a fish R! What made you change your mind?
R: "Zoe said that he is yucky"
Me: "Well, it's not nice to say that people are yucky, even if it is McCain. So then you changed your mind because of what Zoe said?"
R: "A little bit. But also because Obama is really cute and lovely"
Me: "So then you changed your vote after you had already marked the X? I didn't know that you could do that.
R: "Oh sure, but I think it is a best to bring an eraser, in case you change your mind again"

She went on to tell me that she also was worried that McCain might come to our house one day and then he will find out that she did not vote for him. I assured her that this would never happen.

Pooper Extraordinaire

2008-10-27T20:10:00.001-04:00

My mom is FINALLY here and I am breathing a huge sigh of relief. Between non-stop election coverage at work and a constantly traveling husband we have had a bit of a chaotic time lately. One week here now, she is starting to show some signs of wear and tear. This is not an easy household to live in right now. We recently moved, so it takes about 30 minutes to find anything- also, the kids are a little discombobulated (translate: annoying) and their mom (that would be me) gets so many work related phone calls all the time that there is only time for 2 minute conversations.

Oh, and we also got a puppy.... Because....well, because apparently I needed a puppy- just like I need a hole in the head. My sister is the one who thought that it would be a great idea for us to have a puppy right now. His name is Dash. Sister has the brother puppy to our puppy. I think she decided that we should have Dash because he poops a lot. He literally poops about 7 times a day. I know, I know some of you think that I have a tendency to exaggerate, but this time it really is the truth.

Sister believes that I am much more capable of caring for a constantly pooping puppy than she is due to my many, many years of changing diapers and wiping behinds and discussing poopy related issues with anyone who would listen. But honestly, I don't remember any of my children pooping with this frequency. And frankly it just seems a bit much for an 8 lb dog. Dash needs to be taken outside about every 15 minutes in a 24 hour period. So every 15 minutes, which is always a minute too late, my kids run around screaming like there is a 5 alarm fire and shouting at the top of their lungs and with great exasperation that Dash just did it again on the rug in the dining room. Then they spend the next 10 minutes describing this latest deposit in great detail. Whereafter we have about 5 minutes until it starts all over again.

Since I am now swamped with work I have passed the poop baton to my mom and she is doing a much better job. We even had time for a rare trip to the park yesterday. Of course puppy waited til we got home to poop.

Introducing Dash the constantly pooping puppy.

Expensive Fashionista

2008-10-21T21:21:00.001-04:00

I guess uber hockey mom and VP wannabe Sarah Palin checks her folksiness at the door of Neiman Marcus.

Politico.com is reporting today that the RNC has spent $150,000 on styling and outfitting her since she entered the campaign in late August. Apparently- in addition to her inability to form coherent sentences without a team of home school teachers, speech writers and handlers- she also needs help getting dressed. Seems awfully extravagant for someone whose entire speaking platform is directed at Mr and Mrs. Joe Six Pack. Read about it here-

Below you can see the before and after make over shots. Upon further inspection of the 'before' picture I can certainly see the 911 need to get her into some more Vice Presidential looking garbs-- but seriously did the price tag have to be that of a single family home? People are losing jobs and homes to the scores of thousands right now. Wonder why Macy's or Target aren't good enough for this self proclaimed regular mom.

CNN Hero

2008-10-20T20:48:00.000-04:00

Please pop over to Julie's blog today. She writes about Yohannes Gebregeorgis, who is nominated for a CNN Hero of the year award. Yohannes is an advocate for children's literacy in Ethiopia and works tirelessly to bring books and literacy programs to the children there. Julie explains it all in her post. If you are familiar with Ethiopia Reads, but have not voted for him yet- you can do so by clicking on the widget on my sidebar.

Powell Endorses Obama

2008-10-19T11:02:00.001-04:00

Powell says that the Republican party- his party- has moved too far right. That McCain's message is moving too far right. That the tone at the rallies is cause for concern, and that Palin is not ready to become President.

Watch this.

A Night on the Town with C- (a true story)

2008-10-18T23:40:00.002-04:00

You know you are getting too old to go to bars when:

1. On your way out with the girls you realize that 'A Prairie Home Companion' is on and you wish you could just stay in the car with your Diet Coke and your banana and listen to the whole thing.

2. On your first visit to a bar in 3 years you order a Cosmo and all the bartenders AND patrons roll their eyes at you. Cosmos are so 2005.

3. You have to put on your reading glasses just to see the bar menu, forget about reading it.

4.You go to the ladies room to apply lipstick, then you realize that you don't own a lipstick. In fact, you don't even bother looking in the mirror. Actually you end up not doing anything at all in the bathroom, because it would take a Herculean effort to get your Spanx off, and you have to 'go' so bad that for just a brief moment you consider calling out for help.

5. An actual human male approaches you and immediately you panic and nervously blurt out that you have 4 kids, for Pete's sake- even though you really only have 3- but this unexpected encounter has put you in a such a state of confusion that you don't hear him asking you to scoot over so he can wipe off the counter.

6. You yawn uncontrollably, loudly and several times at exactly 10pm.

7. You start wondering whether you brought your health insurance card, because it is becoming painfully clear that you will need to stop by the ER on the way home to have your Spanx surgically removed.

8. After drinking your outdated Cosmo you begin to feel a little more bold and decide to scream out over the music how much you love this song by the Black Eyed Peas, causing the bartender to roll his eyes all over again. He tells you the song is by ' T-Pain featuring Lil Wayne', you moron. You proceed to cup year ear like your grandma while yelling 'WHOOOT I CANT HEAR YOU' because you are sure that he must be speaking a foreign language.

9. You clamp on to a group of college girls who complimented your handbag, which makes you feel so hip that you immediately befriend them with lots of chit chat about the importance of not leaving carbon foot prints and going green. In fact you do this until there is only one college girl left. Then you realize that the only reason she stayed is because the pillar she has been hugging for the past 15 minutes is keeping her from passing out drunk- and the combination of your monologue and the booze has left her catatonic.

10. At midnight you say 'Okey dokey, time to go. I had a super time' in your most annoying mommy voice. And you run to the car hoping that you can still catch the last 5 minutes of the repeat 'All Things Considered' on your way to the emergency room.

A day at the pumpkin patch with my little N is way more up my alley

Digging Deeper

2008-10-16T18:45:00.001-04:00

In continuation of Blog Action Day, I am posting this story that was written by another adoptive mom. I got to know her very well while we both were waiting for our girls in Ethiopia. I consider her a great friend and am thrilled that she is willing to share her experience. She prefers to remain anonymous.

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Digging Deeper

The purpose of my second trip to Ethiopia was to find my daughter’s birth family. I did find them, and so much more. I learned to become comfortable in a country that I had fallen in love with on my first trip 6 months prior. I raised money and had a list of places I wanted to visit and donate my time, supplies and funds. I ended up at some unexpected places and will be forever thankful for what they taught me. I still have so much to learn, I’ve not even scratched the surface. But, the experience has taught me to keep looking beyond what is placed in front of me, beyond what is obvious and easy.

We entered the gates of two Missionaries of Charity sites - Sidist Kilo and Asco, neither of which were easy to find or common places for adoptive parents to visit. I am in awe of the dedication of the Sisters working in these places and the sheer number of people living and dying there. Although the MOC prefers prior arrangements be made to tour their facilities, they welcomed us and provided us with a tour and information on their mission. I would guess there were at least a thousand people living at Sidist Kilo and close to 400 HIV positive children at Asco. We were told that about 80 of those children were receiving HIV treatment. Americans were not lined up at the gates to provide donations to these children or signing up to sponsor them. They will live out their days at the MOC – many will die of HIV related illnesses before they are adults. The MOC is not in the business of adoption, most of the children do not have the paperwork needed to approve them for an international adoption. Sidist Kilo had building after building of adults and children, many waiting to die, many profoundly disabled and all of whom were loved and touched and cared for by the most amazing nuns. It felt a bit odd walking through the buildings with our obvious privilege – like these human beings were on display for us. What business did we have here? How could I “tour” this facility while still allowing these people their dignity? It was an uncomfortable realization – our privilege, our power, our American-born luck. The most difficult part of Sidist Kilo for me was the wing which housed adults and children with developmental disabilities. I had spent many years working with people with developmental disabilities, but had never seen anything like this. It was reminiscent of a 1940’s American institution – large rooms with metal beds lined up one after the next, little supervision, yelling and screaming and people lying on the cement floor in their own urine. Some moaned at me and clawed and pulled at my skirt. It was devastating, horrifying. Sadly we realized that this situation was far better for all of the people at the MOC than living on the street. The MOC is a place of last resort for many in Ethiopia – where they come to live, die and, unexpectedly, to be loved. On that day I decided and still believe that this is the place to dedicate my resources, what little I have. When I return, I will return prepared to give all that I can. In the meantime, I will encourage others to visit the MOC and spread the word about the important work being done there.

I arrived at the Fistula Hospital accompanied by an Ethiopian midwife who trained many of the nurses working there. The FH is a major operation. The facility is lovely, with a high tech office, conference rooms, surgical wings, rehabilitation equipment and, the million-dollar Oprah Winfrey wing.

I had heard so much about the FH and was beyond excited to visit there, especially with a local midwife. We were treated well by the Ethiopian office staff, but all that changed when the FH Director – a woman from Scotland – met us in the conference room. I can’t even explain what that encounter was like – beyond uncomfortable, beyond demeaning, beyond condescending. Unfortunately, we had already made our donation at the front office before meeting Sister Ruth (or “Rude Ruth” as she became known to us). The FH is rich in funding. Sister Ruth was clear that they did not have time for us, nor did they need our small donation. She stated that the FH is better known internationally than they are in Ethiopia. They are trying to get women to their facility to provide surgical services for obstetric fistula – the issue is identifying these women and convincing them to come to Addis to be treated. It is an incredible gift to provide to these women, who are living with unimaginable discomfort and dealing with a condition that carries significant stigma. We did meet and have our photo taken with Dr. Hamlin, which was an honor. But, I am still concerned with how the director treated us and, especially, how she treated our Ethiopian host who trained many of the FH nurses in midwifery. I learned a lesson that day about large organizations that have strong fundraising efforts and financial backers in rich countries. My small donations are better spent elsewhere, even when the cause is important. After our experience at the FH, our Ethiopian midwife friend invited us to her Ethiopian Midwives Association meeting and we were able to learn about and support their efforts to train village midwives in labor and delivery, ultimately helping to prevent obstetric fistula. The EMA does not have the exposure or financial backing of the FH, but their presence in Ethiopia is so very important and our small donation was very much appreciated.

Our Ethiopian host had heard of a preschool being run by a local woman on the southern side of Addis Ababa. This remarkable teacher was providing a service in her neighborhood to children who would otherwise be unsupervised and without an education at home while their parents worked. She funded this preschool with her own money and allowed many children to attend free of charge. We were very interested in seeing the school and asked our host to arrange a visit. Unfortunately, our Ethiopian host was not very good with directions and we drove around for over an hour trying to find the school. We finally met the teacher on a main road and she led us back to the school. There were military personnel walking the streets with guns in this part of Addis. I’m not sure if this was normal or not, but I had not noticed it in other parts of the city. We stepped through the gate to the scene below.

These beautiful children had been waiting for us for the entire time we were driving around, lost. They began to sing as we walked through the gate, there were candles and sterno pots burning and some children approached us with flowers in hand. To think we had almost given up on finding the place and would have missed this. I felt so privileged to see these children and their school – they were so proud. The classrooms were cozy with handmade teaching tools appropriate for the age of the children – incredibly impressive, especially for a place with no resources. We were no doubt the only Westerners to step foot through their gate and were treated as honored guests. We had a coffee ceremony and visited with the staff. When it came time to go, we gave them what little money we had left. We had given most of our money at the Fistula Hospital and were kicking ourselves for that. This place deserved our help and attention – they had no way to raise funds, no U.S. NFP to back them, no website where credit card holders could click “donate”.

We had found the place that needed our help the most on this trip- the place most thankful for our visit and small gift. We were forever changed by what one woman was doing in a tucked away neighborhood of southern Addis Ababa without anyone noticing. We were forever moved to look beyond “easy giving” in order to give to those that have no one else to count on.

I visited many more places on this trip than the three I’ve highlighted above. The trip was also the beginning of our adoption from AHOPE and the start of my family’s commitment to support the region where our younger daughter was born.

Mostly though, I learned a lot about giving – and what you discover by digging a little deeper.

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Thanks AnonyMom for co-blogging with me today.

Sarah commented on my post yesterday "adoptive families I've met want to be involved and want to give to their children's country, but like so many other things, once they are home with their child, every day life takes over and they forget". This is so true and If you are like me, you will not have very many opportunities in life to actually spend time in your childs birth country.

I encourage you to make the most of it, so that when every day life takes over again, it will be without regrets.

Giving Back

2008-10-15T11:22:00.001-04:00

Today is Blog Action Day, bloggers can write about social justice issues. This year the subject is poverty. Something I have not personally experienced, but have witnessed just as anyone who has ever been to a 3rd world country.

Although poverty is a reality around the world, I am writing about Ethiopia. I have chosen Ethiopia because I am the mother of 2 small Ethiopian children who are a constant reminder to me of the devastating effects poverty has on a family. I am specifically addressing this to adoptive parents of Ethiopian children- Because so many of us struggle to find ways in which we can give back to the birth country of our children. Most of us look for ways to lend our support and give money to organizations that we believe in. We spend so much time thinking about how we can make a difference. When we read news reports of war and famine our thoughts and worries travel to our extended families in Ethiopia. We search the Internet, discuss with other adoptive parents and try to seek out ways to make even just a small impact. It is hard- and it is complex.

In this post I am asking adoptive parents to look beyond what is easy. This is a plea.

If you are a family waiting for a referral or a travel date I ask that you use this time to look beyond your agencies and beyond the American NFP's that are able to raise money on behalf of the Ethiopian organization.

Look beyond the Fistula Hospitals and the AHOPEs of Ethiopia.

I wish someone would have told me this when I started on our adoptions. It took me 3 trips to Ethiopia and some very enlightening conversations with another adoptive mom to think outside of the adoption bubble.

K, my mom and I visited the Fistula Hospital in 2006 to write a magazine article about the important work they do in caring for these women who are suffering physically and mentally from fistulas. Just to put it into perspective, The Fistula Hospital has a PR person state side who arranges these visits. They have an entire 'Oprah' hospital wing and a million dollar donation from Winfrey. They have more money than women to treat. Sadly, the journey that women with Fistula's must endure- emotionally, socially and literally- is so difficult that they are not getting to Dr. Hamlin in the numbers that the hospital is financially capable of treating. This organization is well funded.

An American NFP is fundraising and finding sponsors for the kids who are living at AHOPE. AHOPE has a US headquarters for us to contact, as well as supplies and donations being brought to Addis Ababa by helpful AP's on a regular basis. One incredible woman was even able to raise $50,000 in one night here. These kids have access to medication, doctor's examination's and they go to school. The AHOPE kids also are some of the lucky few HIV positive Ethopian kids who might become adopted. They have been given a chance, a hope (hence the name), by the incredible generosity of their donors and by the Ethopian staff at AHOPE who are devoting their lives to helping these children survive and find families- despite the stigma and ostracization this staff could face in their own communities.

I have not done a study, but I am pretty sure that the 2 above mentioned organizations are the most well known NFP's in the Ethiopian adoption community. Many of us have a badge on our blog or have written a post about one or both of these great organizations. This is fantastic. But imagine what we could do for the lesser known organizations in Ethiopia, if we actively began looking for them. If we stepped out of our comfort zone to seek out locals and ask them if they might know of a local group doing needed work. Imagine if we started blogging about these people/groups and gave them a voice, like TFH and AHOPE has. Instead of pouring all of our donations, resources and time into 2 or 3 well funded groups, we could spread the effort out to those who have not reached this level of success abroad.

In stark contrast to AHOPE which houses about 70 kids, The Missionaries of Charity in Addis Ababa - who run one of the largest facilities that care for children and adults with HIV/AIDS, and others who face profound medical issues- do not have the publicity, nor the funds to do what AHOPE is doing for the kids. One of their sites houses over 400 kids! Many children there are just waiting to die. It is a hospice. The nuns care for these kids with few resources. Most, if any, who remain there have little hope of ever having a family, nor recieving the life saving medications they need. If they live to be 16 yrs old MOC can no longer care for them. These kids will NOT be sent out into the longing, loving arms of a family, who will go to the ends of the earth to care for this child. Instead, if they survive, MOCs gates will open and they will be sent out into the streets of Addis, to fend for themselves.

I am hoping that those reading this will choose to travel off of the beaten path to discover some of the many, many people and community based organizations in Ethiopia that are surviving without any outside monetary support. I promise you that if you reach out you will find some amazing, incredible Ethiopians who are making it their lifes work to help others. The work of these people, the facilities like MOC and other unknown organizations need to be known, they need to be talked about and they need our help.

Yes, I know it is hard to find them from here and before you even have been to Ethiopia.

Yes, it is difficult to seek out these places, while you are caring for your new child in an unfamiliar country.

But it is not impossible. I know families who have done this.

Once you get there you will see that money is needed EVERYWHERE. Perhaps you can visit a Kebele and ask to meet with the local Iddir. Iddirs are a well known fixture in Ethiopian society. Iddirs are composed of a few people in a community that pool together resources, as well as time to help others in need. For example; in the case of a child that has just lost his mother and father to disease, the Iddir will step in and bring the child food or pay the rent, perhaps they may even take the child into their own home, or find a neighbor who will. Also the old woman who no longer can support her family by carrying the 100 lbs of wood on her back, down the mountain that is needed for cooking and for profit. The iddir will support this family in any way they can. The Iddir will help families pay for and arrange proper burials for family members who passed away. The Iddirs themselves are also just poor people in the community. They do not get any funding from rich foreigners. They do not have PR people or Oprah features. But they do very important work. For hundreds of years Iddirs have been fueled solely by human compassion.

There are also amazing Ethiopians who spend their free time roaming mountain sides to find the orphan children who are still living in their parents houses, alone, fighting to support themselves. These teachers make an amazing effort to ensure that these kids are getting their education. Who is supporting these teachers?

None of the above have fancy web sites or blog write-ups. But they need us too. if we really want to help in the fight to end poverty, should we not step out of our comfort zone, roll up our sleeves and seek out poverty instead of it being handed to us by a simple click on our mouse?

Imagine the support you could garner for a small organization, just by posting about it on your blog. Imagine how passionate you would feel about this cause. You met them, you know them, you can vouch for the work they are doing. YOU FOUND THEM YOURSELF!

Tomorrow I will post a story by one adoptive mom who did just that. After visiting the more well known NFP's she branched out and found her own way. Hopefully her experience will inspire us to grab our dogged determination by the tail and follow it to that little clinic somewhere in the Addis suburbs, where our support is so desperately needed.

In closing I just want to say that this post is not intended to take away donations from TFH or AHOPE. Not at all, I know that donations are the life blood of these organizations. I am just asking adoptive parents to branch out a little, to give the undiscovered groups this same opportunity.

EDITED for privacy concerns.

My First Meme

2008-10-08T23:12:00.001-04:00

I was finally tagged..sheesh.... it took me 10 months to reach this blogging milestone. Truth be told, I wasn't so much directly tagged- more like I read loscazadores blog and interpreted her prompt as a personal invitation. Sadly, I tend to operate this way in life.

I totally lifted this fancy badge thingy from her blog. In fact, while I was at it, I came close to lifting her entire tag post too. Because, true to form, it was really funny and well written. But then I came to my senses and realized that she might recognize it next time she comes around my blog- and that would be really weird.

7 random facts about me!

1. I drive like a 90 yr old woman with cataracts, rarely going faster than 35 miles pr. hour anywhere and I refuse to drive on the freeway, ever- because the speed freaks me out. I drive so slow that my passengers have threatened to jump out of the car. Which I dare them to do because, seriously, how dangerous could that be at 7 1/2 miles pr. hour?.

2. I talk really, really fast though and also interrupt a lot- So I am dangerous that way.

3. I constantly rant about this election and politics in general, yet sadly I cannot vote here because I am not a US citizen. That doesn't stop me from frequently shouting things at the TV like " HOW DARE YOU TALK TO US VOTERS LIKE THAT, YOU CONDESCENDING ASSHOLE' and then husband must gently remind me that I am really not the one who is being addressed here.

4. I went to school in France for a year, yet cannot speak a word of French. I did eat tons of cheese, drank lots of wine and visited many musuems. All was not wasted, but parents were a bit disappointed with their investment and came to the realization that this would not be the last time that an investment in me would give minimal return.

5. K and I got married in a hotel room in NYC and did not tell anyone. Well, eventually we did.

6. I can't tolerate the sound of someone eating an apple.

7. I love...no, that is just not a strong enough description...I LUUUUUUUURVE.....Van Morrison's music. Does that make me seem really old?

Here are the people I want to tag, but I can't seem to find their blogs.

Winston Churchill
Bill Maher
Mahatma Ghandi
Jane Austen
Van Morisson
Barack Obama
David Sedaris

But I know where to find you guys. Consider yourselves tagged!

itsasgoodasdancingqueen
3generationsfarm
spontaenousdelight
bluecollaradoption
isthisme?
alltolove
inthebigwoo

Husband on the loose at the VP debate

2008-10-05T21:44:00.001-04:00

I used to be annoyed when K would email me 5000 photo's of himself stalking people while he was supposed to be working. But I must admit that I now rather enjoy these email attacks that cause my computer to freeze up and take all night to download. Because at least this way, I get to see that he is still alive and the kids are reminded that they do indeed have a father.

K has been gone for almost 2 months now, with only few visits home- mostly to do laundry and sleep and hang out with the kids for a few days. I am getting pretty exhausted being alone with 3 small kids day and night, while still trying to be productive at my own job. Thankfully my mom is coming all the way from Bangkok in a few weeks to help us out during the last leg of this election. Counting the days til it's over already.....

Here is the latest from the VP debate, and boy do I hope that we don't have to spend the next 4 years being winked at by S. Palin. Ugh....

Michele Norris NPR

Governor Ed Rendell

Linda Douglass and Susan Rice Obama advisors

Fred Thompson

Suzanne Malveaux CNN White House Correspondent

Gary Hart

Confused About The Economy?

2008-09-28T21:43:00.001-04:00

Even illdoctrine is. This one really had me laughing. Thanks Frogmom!

School is Cool.

2008-09-26T11:10:00.001-04:00

I am taking a break from my political rantings. This blog needs some cuteness.

J and N both attend a wonderful school right in our neighborhood.

Pony rides are part of the curriculum. ...Seriously.....

So is lunch time in the grass....not kidding....

Wait- how did this get in there?

But it's not all fun and games. Improper behavior is taken very seriously here and disciplinary action includes both photographing and booking misguided 4 year olds. Particularly if they are caught smoking in the parking lot. I hope it does not remain on her criminal record too long.

McMaverick Pulls A Fast One

2008-09-24T21:38:00.001-04:00

I am really, really trying hard not to keep writing political posts- but dang it is hard not reacting when there is so much going on all the time.......And I live in Washington, so cut me a little slack here.

I just finished watching McCain's presser where he selflessly announces his intentions to suspend his campaign....wait...what???....Did something new happen today on Wall Street that made it critically important for McCain to suddenly now take part in the negotiations on Capitol Hill?

Oh wait, right- there was something about some polls not looking so hot anymore.

And even worse, he won't be on Letterman tonight. Letterman is hurt, because he was lied to by a real maverick. But I'll try to stay on point here.

Okay, so let me get this straight.

McCain is suspending his campaign, so he can rush to Washington to give his apparently invaluable input on this unprecedented, humongous bailout deal?

I just need to politely ask: and...ahem... what input would that be?

It's just that he rarely makes sense at all when he talks about the economy.

And wait a minute.

Is he not part of the reason why the tax payers have to foot this massive bill in the first place? Isn't this the same guy whose actual mantra for the past 100 years has been 'DOWN WITH REGULATION' .

This McCain backed deregulated mortgage market is the main reason we are in this stink right now.

Furthermore, since he feels he is the man to sweep in and save America in the 11th hour of hammering out this deal, I dare ask- why can't he debate at the same time?

I just don't see the conflict.

Is he not able to multitask?

Sheesh, even I can multitask and I am not even President...really, I am not....or a hockey mom in lipstick or even a soccer mom for that matter. Mostly just a bloggin mom who likes to bitch. But I can still multitask like it is no one's business.

Don't we need a President who can take care of more than one big issue at a time.

Senator Dodd who is head of the banking committee said today that he has not heard once from McCain during this whole debacle. Not once. Now suddenly McCain feels his own participation is imperative?

I guess when the polls are spiraling downward and the self appointed original maverick already pulled his trump card out of ~~his ass~~ Alaska over a month ago, it will take desperate measures to keep pace.

Now I have to find something else to do Friday night, damn polls....

Black + White = Both

2008-09-21T22:26:00.002-04:00

As if there is not enough drama in the world right now with the robber barons on Wall Street running off with their golden parachutes. Hurricanes obliterating entire towns and questionable wars being fought. It amazes me that people are still tripping all over each other to discuss whether Obama is white enough or black enough. This is a very apropos theme for my post today because I am deep into reading The complete fiction of Nella Larsen, who was a biracial author. Born in Denmark to a white mother and an African American father. She moved back and forth from Denmark to the US as a young adult, never fitting in anywhere and the effect of being biracial on her life was truly cataclysmic.

This was during the Harlem Renaissance when many black artists where finding their voices through the arts.

This was in the 1920'ies and 30'ies.

Yet here we sit in the year 2008 and still discuss what racial group a multiracial person belongs to.

The classification systems used in schools do not even have a box for parents of multiracial children to check. It is in theory a loaded questionnaire based on the assumption that all students belong to just one racial group.

My middle child is also a the daughter of a Danish mother (that would be me) and an African American father. I spend more time worrying about her future identity issues than I do about my two adopted African childrens'.

I know which box to check for them.

They have positive role models in their life for their developing self images.

I fear that my middle daughter will be in some kind of limbo until one racial group claims her or she claims the group she identifies the most with.

But will she ever really identify with just one group?

Neither her black father nor her white mother can ever understand what it feels like growing up mixed. We can only hope that she will be strong enough, self confident enough, to celebrate her multiethnic roots. We can hope that she never feels the need to belong to just one racial group. But statistics say otherwise. Most biracial people do inevitably feel compelled to choose. But there are those who will not or cannot choose, instead they move between the two groups, on the fringes and perhaps as outsiders. Like Nella Larsen.

As long as race relations are unresolved and humans are segregated or choose to self-segregate, how can a person of mixed race find their identity? I can't imagine the burden that my daughter may have to bear- never being white enough, never being black enough. Searching for a category that does not exist. I can barely think of the pain a person must go through if they decide to claim the racial group of just one of their parents. Would the guilt of shunning half of their heritage not be unbearable?

This is an incredibly unfair and preposterous thing to ask of a human being. Yet this is still the way the world works. We need to categorize people. That is what we do. Until we somehow figure out a way to reprogram humans so that we do not need to group off. Until we see that there is only one race- the human race, can't we just make one more official category for those
who are not represented? On the school forms a parent is now permitted to cross off more than one category, but can't we take it one step further? Maybe having an official 'multiracial' category would help bolster consciousness of biracial people as a group in their own right.

Obama considers himself African American. He has said 'If I am outside trying to catch a cab, the driver is not saying; Oh, there's a biracial guy". Biracial is not considered an official identity. One must be one or the other.

Perhaps if Obama was considered officially 'multiracial' we would be able to see that his judgement is far superior to that of his opponent and not just see a black man.

This is Your Nation on White Privilege

2008-09-17T20:56:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine sent me this article. I think it is dead on. The essayist is a writer and anti-racist activist. If you like this perspective you can check him out on redroom.com

If you are easily offended by swearing, I have to warn you that Palin's charming future son in law is quoted in this essay. It seems that he is fond of the F word. Consider yourself warned.

This is Your Nation on White Privilege
By Tim Wise

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fuckin' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fuckin' ass," and talk about how you like to "shoot shit" for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested." 

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals. 

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you. 

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful. 

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you're somehow being mean, or even sexist. 

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look." 

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt. 

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced. 

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a "light" burden. 

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain… 

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Retro Me

2008-09-16T22:45:00.001-04:00

I needed a good laugh tonight, so I yearbooked myself.

Now I want to see yours.

www.yearbookyourself.com

Couldn't Help Myself

2008-09-15T19:27:00.002-04:00

I am voting for Tina Fey!!!

Summer Condensed (and ferociously patting self on back)

2008-09-12T14:13:00.002-04:00

After writing a scathing, profanity filled post about the Gibson/Palin interview last night- I thought to myself; hmmmmm.... maybe I should just stick with blogging light and post this non-controversial photo montage from our summer instead.

I do get kudos for the incredible show of self restraint I demonstrated in NOT pushing the send button, right?

Boy I've sure have come a long way since my drunk dialing days of the early nineties. Yay C!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Dusting Off Some Old Advice

2008-09-11T23:24:00.000-04:00

Minneapolis Photo-series

2008-09-09T13:39:00.001-04:00

For those of you who have been following husband's travails as a political groupie, here is what he came up with from the Republican Convention.

Now I am sure you will notice that his expressions are not quite as eager and excited as in his Denver series. He readily admits that brushing shoulders with Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich did not nearly give him the level of goose bumps as standing shoulder to shoulder with John Lewis or Jesse Jackson.

He feebly confessed to me that these last groupie shots actually made him feel a little dirty and cheap. I told him that as a professional political groupie he really must learn to take the good with the bad, or he won't last very long in this business.

Thank goodness he could seek refuge in the arms of the liberal media. Thanks Katie and Eleanor...Yes, we are on a first name basis....well at least on my blog we are.

Clearly, judging by his enthusiastic expression, he was not too, too conflicted about posing with those purdy beauty queens. Hmmm. Wonder if they are Republican? Guess husband did not mind either way.....

He was also quick to state that being at Invesco field in Denver- hearing Obama's speech, was the highlight of his life. Never mind marrying me, or having our 3 kids.

Husband's love of Obama is ONLY rivaled by my dear friend Mrs. 3generationsfarm- She refuses to live in the US under a McCain/Palin administration.

Unfortunately I cannot post a link, as her blog suffers from severe lack of self-esteem issues. Her blog is in weekly therapy- and soon, I believe, very soon, it will be ready for world wide readership.

and back to husband- He will be crestfallen if Obama/Biden do not win this election and has vowed to leave the country with Mrs. 3generationsfarm and her most enviable collection of fine box wine. Leaving me here with Mr. 3generationsfarm- which is fine by me, as I have heard that he has a way with exploding septic tanks and bats that have found their way into one's home. He would certainly be much handier around the house.

I wish them luck, but want to remind them that relocating to a foreign country with 6 kids and 3 dogs will pose it's own challenges. These challenges may pale in comparison to being ruled by a God fearin', moose huntin', bouffant wearin', animal skinnin', red meat eatin', 2'nd place beauty pageant winner and her sidekick.

But I'm just sayin'.......

Told You So

2008-08-29T21:00:00.002-04:00

Boy, that husband of mine sure is predictable. Did I not recently say that he stole my USB cable for the sole purpose of bombarding me with convention photos of himself and whomever would pose with him?

Yes, I believe I did. And here they are

K with Jessica Yellin of CNN

K with Jessie Jackson

K with Biff Henderson of Letterman Show

K with Ann Curry of Today Show

K with Bob Schieffer of CBS

K with Congressman John Lewis

K with Jeff Greenfield CBS

K with Kojo Nnamdi of NPR

And here K is supposed to be with Stevie Wonder but it looks to me like he either chickened out or fainted, thus failing to deliver the true money shot.

God Help Me (before we're on the Evening News)

2008-08-25T19:28:00.001-04:00

I just have to make it through one more day til I get my sanity back. One more day til the school system can take over raising the kids that I went through hell and high water to have.

At least I hope it comes back, my sanity- that is.

Last time I saw it was in the late nineties, so it might be a long shot- but a girl can still hope right?

This past week, here at Habeshahouse, we have endured rapidly escalating naughty behavior; 47 fist fights, 9 stick figure drawings on the walls, 789,102 time outs, more fist fights, 892 character assassinations, 17 skinned knees, 432,681 ice cream cones smeared all over my car, did I mention fist fights? and foul potty mouth that would make a longshoreman blush.

And that was just me and husband.

Don't even get me started on how the kids have been behaving.

Is the last week of summer supposed to be like this?

My Husband Has Run Off

2008-08-23T21:03:00.002-04:00

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

with my USB cable AND my cell phone charger! He will be gone for two weeks. I am furious.

Was so looking forward to sorting through all of our summer photos and posting them to the blog.

What could possibly be so interesting in Denver and Minneapolis that he needs my USB cable?

I fear that he plans on bombarding me with photos of himself and his cohorts roaming around the convention stadiums buying food at the concession stands and taking lame fan photos of himself with one obscure congressman after another.

He has been known to do this in the past, you know.

This is just an incredibly selfish thing to do to a woman who is suffering from incurable jet lag.

We have photos of OUR KIDS.... that need to be on the internet ASAP for crying out loud. 10's of people are waiting.

One would think that he ran off with another woman, and he might as well have..so angry is this wife. He ran off with all of my fun. He is in BIG trouble.

Are you reading this K????????

Also, where the heck did you put the toilet bowl cleaner that I handed to you yesterday??

Where? I ask... Or did you take that along in your carry on as well??????

This is almost as bad as the time he had me walking around Paris thinking I was super cute in this idiotic hat. Despite the fact that I have told him on more than one occasion that I do not have the proper shaped head for hats. I am of the Fred Flintstone head variety. Hats just don't become me or Fred, for that matter. For some reason he talked me into wearing this freakin' thing for an entire day.

What kind of a man does that AND steals your phone charger and USB cable in the middle of the night, after having fallen on top of your mother, breaking her arm in 3 places (Okay, so that last infraction was 4 years ago, but still.....)

So since I have absolutely no vacation photos to share, as I had promised, I am forced to leave you with this summer shot of kleptomaniac, fugitive husband trying to look real real tough.

Chronic Jet lag

2008-08-22T00:25:00.001-04:00

I haven't forgotten about my blog.

I am just really busy going to therapy to overcome the effects of being poked, prodded climbed on, drawn on, spilled on, and spit on for 9 straight hours by 3 small children at 38000 feet while crossing the Atlantic Ocean- and what felt like several other oceans- to get back home to Habeshahouse.

We have spent an entire week trying to overcome the most severe cases of jet lag ever seen by mankind. At 8.30 pm every evening I literally climb up my stairs on all fours and collapse on my bed fully clothed; leaving a mountain of unwashed dishes and laundry in my wake. We all get up around 5 the next morning and I spend the next several hours eyeballing the evil mountain of dishes. All this staring makes me so exhausted that I then need to take another nap.

This cycle continues.. and frankly it is very inconvenient since I have a life to tend to and we are running out of clean plates. So today I vowed to stay up past 9 pm and force myself to get back into our normal routine. Now I am just hoping that the kids are on the same page and won't come bouncing into my bed at the crack of dawn barking out orders for pancakes and trips to the local pool.

I am planning an onslaught of vacation photos for tomorrows post. That is, if I am not too tired to find the camera in my yet to be unpacked suitcase.

Fairy Tales and Princesses

2008-08-06T05:34:00.001-04:00

Since we are in Hans Christian Andersen's home country, I took the girls to see some very real princesses and fairies. R and J were awestruck, especially when a real live mermaid appeared on a rock in the middle of the lake. I think I even saw J hyperventilating a little bit.

The last 2 photos are of the girls walking to their little cabin to go to sleep at the end of the day.

Summer Rain Scandinavian Style (and lots of it..)

2008-08-06T05:24:00.001-04:00

Summer Fun Scandinavian Style

2008-07-29T07:50:00.001-04:00

My Suitcase Runneth Over

2008-07-19T00:38:00.002-04:00

We are leaving for vacation in 3 days. I have now packed and repacked our suitcases 4 times and still cannot close them. Therefore I am unable to blog these days- so instead I leave you with this interesting mock phone conversation between the two sisters.

Please ignore R's half braided hair. I am afraid that if I do not find a solution to my suitcase packing issues, her hair will stay in this limbo style for the remainder of the summer.

div>

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Tribute to Headdresses

2008-07-13T23:20:00.001-04:00

Yes it is time to wave goodbye to R's attachment to head wear. Yesterday we discovered that her hair has finally grown a full inch and that she now qualifies for actual hairstyles.

Granted the coif's are somewhat limited with just one inch of hair, but R and I were not going to let this deter us- so we embarked on a 6 hour mission to braid extensions into her hair.

Never mind that I have never tried this before. I felt very well prepared after having viewed various YouTube videos on the art of corn rowing and crochet extensions.

This is how it turned out:

I thought I had done a pretty good job- but as the day wore on we were finding strands of hair all over the place- and later in the day, entire braids were appearing around the house.

After sleeping on what was left of her quickly disintegrating hairdo, the rest of her extensions apparently just disappeared into thin air. hmmmm. I suppose I should watch just a few more videos before we try this one again.

Anyway the big news really is that R does not have to come up with anymore bizarre homemade headdresses. Because she now can wear barrettes, clips and all kinds of hair doodads.

It is going to be difficult for her to let this obsession go I am sure- The girl is very, very crafty and can turn almost anything into a headdress of some sort- not always with the same level of success though, but she does get kudos for trying.

For example goggles can be a bit difficult to get full head coverage with.. even if you do hang long pieces of yarn from the elastic part of the goggle.

She definitely has impressed us on other occasions like the time she turned my apron into a turban in 20 seconds flat, or the time she taped long pieces of pink ribbon inside her sisters bicycle helmet and wore it around the house for 3 days.

Unfortunately I did not photograph the turban headdress as I was still in shock over the appearance of an apron in my home. But, I have-through the months- been able to capture the essence of R's love of head wear, check it out.

A tribute and a final farewell to a very time consuming (and sometimes disturbing) obsession.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

8 for Prosperity and Good Luck

2008-07-10T21:03:00.000-04:00

The Chinese are very superstitious about numbers. For example the number 4 is considered an unlucky number, so in many places all across China there is no fourth floor or 4 in an address or phone number.

The number 8, however, is a very lucky number- In fact it is considered the number of prosperity. This means that many Chinese will try to plan important events on the 8th of the month.

So it is not by chance that the Olympics are set to kick off on 08-08-08.

I am sure you are all wondering where I am going with this- as this has absolutely nothing to do with Ethiopia (like all my other posts of course do), but in a minute you will see a photo of one lucky little lady who happened to be born on the 8th of this month- just 2 days ago- in Shanghai, China.

Drum roll please..........

Introducing my brand new little niece.......Miss O.....

Terms of Agreement

2008-07-06T10:44:00.001-04:00

To the Grandparents of R, J and N.

We thank you for your kind and generous invitation to spend our upcoming vacation in your summer cottage in Denmark.

We do, however, want to ensure that all parties are completely aware of and understand the risks that such a visit may present. Therefore we, the guests, have drawn up this document which we kindly ask that you review and sign before we make our final travel arrangements.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Following directions for dealing with visiting children should be implemented at each instance.

1. Refrain from correcting grammatically incorrect sentences, or general incomprehensible statements. If oldest of visiting children- whose English is still a work in progress- tells you to "put green on horns" do not question this request-
just do it.

We have no idea what it means either, but have learned that saying 'Okay in a minute" is a satisfactory response to eldest child.

2. Certain actions by adults will provoke stalker like behavior by all 3 children simultaneously- Such as; speaking on the phone, visiting the bathroom, taking a shower, working on a computer, or attempting to have a conversation with another adult.

Unfortunately since the restraining order we took out on the kids proved to be ineffective, we suggest eliminating all of the above activities during our visit.

3. Be sure to apply a full face of make-up, and put on proper clothing before first morning encounter with visiting children. If you do this you will not be subject to following questions.

a. Are you sick?
b. why is your face all wrinkly?.
c. is that a hair sticking out of your chin?
d. Why don't you wear real clothes like the ladies on TV

4. Refrain from swearing- by some bizarre neurological disposition the mere utterance of a 4 letter word triggers the children's rote memory to kick into high gear. And they will continually delight in interjecting this expletive into any and all conversations, for the remainder of their childhood.

5. If any of said children state that the dinner you cooked is disgusting- please do not take this personally.

6. Do not leave anything with push buttons around the house, such as; camera's, remote controls, cell phones, computers etc. If you do so this item will never work properly again.

7. Discard of any writing instruments that are in your home. If you fail to do so, your walls and/or furniture will be subjected to a vicious graffiti attack.

Upon discovery of this unprovoked attack the children will try to confuse you by collectively feigning utter shock while pointing their little fingers in disgust at each other. Do not fall for this and give all 3 a time out.

8. If middle child suddenly appears naked with your newly planted perennials in hand do not panic. She almost always pulls them up by the roots and therefore they can be replanted while she is doing 5 to 10 in time-out.

There is, unfortunately, no solution to the sudden onset of nakedness. We suggest not inviting anyone into your home for the month of our stay.

9. If youngest child suddenly throws himself on to floor and begins to sound like a baby hyena- brace yourself and all bystanders for a temper tantrum of epic proportions.

Just slowly back out of the room and stay at a safe distance until meltdown subsides- and it will....... after a few hours.

10. Always have the following items on -hand:
- band aids
- pacifier
- Little Einsteins DVD
- wet wipes
- candy for bribing
- large vodka tonic

If all of the above listed instructions are followed, you will survive this visit with minimal damage to home, property and brain.

Just be sure to get plenty of rest and drink lots of ~~vodka tonic's~~ fluids. Please sign on the dotted line. Thank you and we look forward to visiting.

Terms of Agreement

2008-07-05T21:06:00.001-04:00

To the Grandparents of R, J and N.

We thank you for your kind and generous invitation to spend our upcoming vacation in your summer cottage in Denmark.

We do, however, want to ensure that all parties are completely aware of and understand the risks that such a visit may present. Therefore we, the guests, have drawn up this document which we kindly ask that you review and sign before we make our final travel arrangements.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Following directions for dealing with visiting children should be implemented at each instance.

1. Refrain from correcting grammatically incorrect sentences, or general incomprehensible statements. If oldest of visiting children, whose English is still a work in progress, tells you to ' put green on horns' do not question this request, just do it.

We have no idea what it means either but have learned that saying 'Okay in a minute" is a satisfactory response to eldest child.

2. Certain actions by adults will provoke stalker like behavior by all 3 children simultaneously; Such as speaking on the phone, visiting the bathroom, taking a shower, going on a computer, or attempting to have a conversation with another adult. Unfortunately the restraining order we took out on the kids proved to be ineffective. We suggest eliminating all of the above activities during our visit.

3. Be sure to apply a full face of make-up and put on proper clothing before first morning encounter with visiting children. If you do this you will not be subject to following questions.

a. Are you sick?
b. why is your face all wrinkly?.
c. is that a hair sticking out of your chin?
d. Why don't you wear real clothes like the ladies on TV

4. Refrain from swearing- by some bizarre neurological disposition the mere utterance of a 4 letter word triggers the children's rote memory to kick into high gear- and they will continually delight in interjecting this expletive into any and all conversations, for the remainder of their childhood.

5. If any of said children state that the dinner you cooked is disgusting- please do not take this personally.

6. Do not leave anything with push buttons around the house, such as; camera's, remote controls, cell phones, computers etc. If you do so this item will never work properly again.

7. Discard of any writing instruments that are in your home. If you fail to do so, your walls and/or furniture will be subjected to a vicious graffiti attack.

Upon discovery of this unprovoked attack the children will try to confuse you by collectively feigning utter shock while pointing their little fingers in disgust at each other. Do not fall for this and give all 3 a time out.

8. If middle child suddenly appears naked with your newly planted perennials in hand do not panic. She almost always pulls them up by the roots and therefore they can be replanted while she is doing 5 to 10 in time-out.

There is unfortunately no solution to the sudden onset of nakedness. We suggest not inviting anyone to your home for the month of our stay.

9. If youngest child suddenly throws himself on to floor and begins to sound like a baby hyena- brace yourself and all bystanders for a temper tantrum of epic proportions.

Just slowly back out of the room and stay at a safe distance until meltdown subsides- and it will....... after a few hours.

10. Always have the following items on -hand:
- band aids
- pacifier
- Little Einsteins DVD
- wet wipes
- candy for bribing
- large vodka tonic

If all of the above listed instructions are followed, you will survive this visit with minimal damage to home, property and brain. Just be sure to get plenty of rest and drink lots of ~~vodka tonic's~~ fluids. Please sign on the dotted line. Thank you and we look forward to visiting.

4th of July Starring.....

2008-07-03T12:21:00.000-04:00

We jump started 4th of July with the girls participating in a parade and a show at camp.

This blurry video starring J and R will mostly be appreciated by their grandparents I am sure.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Jealous much?

2008-06-28T22:41:00.001-04:00

My sister and brother in law are piggy backing on my blog, so that our family in Denmark can see what a fabulous life they live. Tonight they went to a swanky party only for adults, which means NO kids. I am pretty sure that they were not serving chicken nuggets with macaroni and cheese, and I am also pretty sure that I was so not invited.

The party had a theme too, and I am pretty sure that the fabulous hostess stuck to her super trendy Bollywood theme without diversions to Hello Kitty land. Did I mention that this was an adults only party? One of those adults only parties where there are no kids...anywhere.... Sigh... I went over to their house to help sister wrap 40 mile long sari around her, it took 2 days and 7 hours to figure out how to get it right. I was in charge of the backside, it looked a mess by the time I was done shoving the material around. She is not aware of this, as she never checked her back. I also glued the moustache on brother in law's face. I used super glue, but he does not know this. Here is the fabulous couple just before their swanky night on the town, where there are no kids.

I drove them to the party in my sweats with my 3 screaming kids in tow. They asked me if I would not mind dropping them off on a corner.... a 1/2 mile from the party house...... Here is another photo of how much spare time they have on their hands.

My sister got to look like this

While I looked like this

because I had to hurry home to this

and this

not to mention this

I might even get to pick them up in the middle of the night if they summon me. Maybe sister will trip on her fabulous sari and brother in law's massive moustache will catch on fire.

Here are a couple more for mom and dad.

Is it just me or doesn't brother in law look more like a Greek shipping tycoon named Yanni than a guy from Punjabi?

Flawless (from the front, he he)

What kid?

2008-06-27T14:57:00.001-04:00

Have you ever been so preoccupied with something that you completely forgot that you have kids, like the panda in this video?

Who needs teeth anyway.

2008-06-26T22:53:00.002-04:00

Teeth are falling out of our mouths left and right here.

Monday morning I was driving to work, minding my own business and chewing on a piece of gum when suddenly one of my teeth broke. It just broke right off. I am still in shock. Because at 42 your teeth aren't supposed to just fall right out of your mouth like this. Are they? In retrospect I think I might have been chomping this gum in a bit of a frenzied state. I was stressing out trying to get to work on time after a crazy morning getting us all ready for camp, daycare and work.

It has taken me all week to recover enough to write about it. Yes one might wonder why I have chosen to include the www in my obvious deterioration as a human being- and on what is supposed to be an adoption blog nonetheless. All I can say is, that it very well could be adoption related and that I will get to the bottom of this.

I don't really know of anyone whose teeth just break off, except for my grandmother- whose teeth would appear in the oddest places, like plopped in the middle of her creme filled danish. In fact, most of the time she did not even realize that another one had gone missing.

Anyway, I was rather obsessed with this horrific encounter with my pending mortality and was having a hard time letting it go. I went over it again and again at dinner, while my dinner companions - all under the age of 6- were staring blankly into their dinner plates.

In the middle of my 8th soliloquy R's front tooth fell right out of her mouth. Granted she was eating corn on the cob and not a soft piece of gum. Chaos and excitement quickly enveloped us, as we frantically scrambled to figure out what to do with her mouth and the tooth. Even little N jumped into action and rushed to her side to hand her one dirty sock and a Matchbox car (?).

Frankly I was a little annoyed at her for stealing my thunder. So I did what any mother would do and gave her a time-out, where after we put her tooth in a little box and placed it under her pillow. But not before dropping it on the floor several times and getting to bed 2 hours later than usual, because that is how long it takes to find a missing, tiny front tooth the size of a tic tac.

I also put my tooth under my pillow, because something good just had to come of this.

Summertime cuteness

2008-06-25T14:13:00.001-04:00

Birthday party with identity issues.

2008-06-23T13:55:00.000-04:00

Well, our plan to throw a big birthday celebration for R looked really good on paper but ended up being poorly executed. Instead of having 12 giggly 6 year olds pinning the tail on the donkey, and beating the pinata with a stick- it ended up being 2 giggly little girls, 4 adults, and 2 teenage skater nephews. By the way, being a skateboarder and pinning the tail on the donkey are mutually exclusive, in case you didn't know this.

You see, R decided at the last minute that she did not like her classmates anymore and under no circumstances should they be invited to her party. She did not offer any explanation as to why the sudden disdain for the kids that she normally adores. Like the insightful and aware mother that I am, I took this at face value and decided to move the party up by a week and just invite the family- granted we really have no family in the vicinity besides aforementioned nephews and aunt- so the party was going to be small- really, really small.

Then R changed her mind yet again the morning of the 'party' and decided she really liked her class mates again. Insightful and aware mother so did not see that one coming- and by then had already purchased a teeny, tiny birthday cake and just 8 princess plates and cups- so it was a little late for regrets. Also I have to admit that I was secretly a little relieved when she decided against the big birthday bash- because a friend (one who sends large, vibrating boxes that sing and talk ) told me that I should expect that many of the parents would stay for the party since the kids are so young. I had not factored that in my initial party planning. I found the prospect of all these adults in my home a little daunting (thinking back to Social worker incident in March).

I still do not feel comfortable entertaining any guest over the age of 7 in my home until we have some issues under control here. Among these; a 4 year old who has a penchant for taking off all of her clothes at any given moment, a 6 year old who prefers toilet visits with the door open, and a 2 year old who enjoys throwing matchbox cars at all moving objects- which btw hurts.... alot. We really can't risk having too many larger sized moving objects (with the ability to litigate) in our home at this time.

Also, the birthday theme thing was beginning to stress me out. You see- where I come from one does not have themes for parties. You just throw a birthday party for your kid and figure that they will entertain themselves. Besides, the main point of any party- whether it be a kiddy birthday party, a baptism, a child's graduation etc. is for the adults to have lots of cocktails. And therefore much more effort is put into planning and creating an impressive cocktail menu.

Anyway- I never did get the hang of the theme thing. We started out with Hula invitations and somehow ended up with a Princess cake and some Hello Kitty napkins thrown in for variety.

But in the end R was happy with her very small, multi-themed party, which is all that really mattered. Oh, and the cocktails were very tasty too...

Things that go 'chugga' in the night.

2008-06-16T21:09:00.001-04:00

Is Murray giving me the finger?

So we are being stalked by a toy. Not just any toy either. Probably the creepiest toy ever created. It is not a toy that I ever would have thought to buy. You see my BFF in California, whose kids are a bit older than mine- was kind enough to send me a huge box of their old toys, most of which made various noises (thanks Julie). The box was actually talking, singing and vibrating when it arrived.

Anyway, the kids ripped open the box and quickly claimed their favorites. N fell absolutely head over heels, for a red car complete with 4 happy guys who lead alternative lifestyles and are dressed in very colorful outfits and have Playmobile hairdo's- When you push on these guys heads the car will drive recklessly about and the 4 dudes would sing "Chugga, Chugga big red car' or something like that. This was 2 years ago. We have never changed the batteries. It appears everywhere without warning. I will be driving quietly in my car and suddenly the Wiggles are belting out this song to me and sure enough the toy is under the seat somewhere. Both K and I trip over it when we get up in the middle of the night and the guys, never skipping a beat, automatically break into the only song they apparently know. N left it outside last week, and the wind was blowing just enough to set the 4 Aussies off again, causing an hour of distressed barking by a neighborhood dog.

One might ask why we dont just turn it off, right? Well, the problem is that we DID turn it off- OVER A YEAR AGO! It plays even when it is off. How is that for creepy? And I used to think Barnie was the creepiest thing alive- nope, these guys win, hands down. And dont even suggest taking the batteries out- because the little teeny tiny screws that you need a special and hard to find teeny, weeny tiny screw driver to open it with- are broken. Husband also threw creepy toy in the trash can- but we could hear their muffled singing from out there too.

So what is the shelf life of a Wiggles car? Anyone?

Moral of this story is that one should NEVER NEVER accept large, vibrating package that can sing and talk, from well meaning but crazy BFF- who clearly, in a desperate attempt to save own family from the slow and torturous onset of Wiggles related insanity, decides to throw 25 years of friendship out the window.

Last day of school.

2008-06-13T22:21:00.002-04:00

R has only been in Kindergarten for 6 weeks, and she loved every minute of it, except for the cleaning up part.

Ode to N.

2008-06-11T10:56:00.002-04:00

2 years ago today!

One rainy day, I think it was May
the phone rang and sent us to Addis
We went on our way-
traveled for days
to the baby who needed a kiss.

The boy was so small,
but he would grow tall
with all of the love he would crave.
He also was frightened, but his parents,
enlightened,
were certain that he would be brave.

Although late to walk
he wanted to talk and
quickly learned how to say No
it did not take long
til he sang a song
and expertly counted his toes

He always would bawl when Mom
made him crawl.
He really just wanted to sit.
But one happy day, he stood all the way
and discovered that he would not fall.

Fast forward two years
he now has no fears
Curious and daring he plays
He loves to be wild
and gives you a smile,
no matter in which passing phase.

He grew to feel safe-
and loved his new place,
his parents were ever so proud.
He no longer is- a scared little kid
but happy and healthy and loud.

PS
I overused rhyme
I know it's a crime
but I don't know how to write ode's
Im sure that it shows
but I hope you will know
that this is as far as it goes

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Go Obama!

2008-06-04T22:23:00.001-04:00

I wish my kid's were older, so I could explain to them the historical significance of this day! I would tell them that this day is going to change the rest of their lives, hopefully.... That now they can be whatever they want to be, that the color of their skin should never hold them back from their ambitions.

My kid's dad would tell them that this NEVER could have happened when he was their age. That the America they will grow up in is going to be a different America from the one in which he was raised.

The America he knows had him sleeping on the floor, under a window for an entire summer during the Detroit race riots in the sixties. It was the safest place to sleep to avoid being hit by a stray bullet, and he was just 7 years old. This same America had his mom applying for special grants for minorities to get him out of the inner city schools, just so he could get the decent education that he deserved. That his America had him watch his mother struggle to explain to him, when he was just 4 years old, why he could not take a sip from a water fountain while on a trip to New Orleans .

I know that racism is not going to be wiped out in one fell swoop, but this certainly is a huge step in the right direction-I can't help but imagine what it could mean for my children if Obama becomes the next President.

My kids are upstairs sleeping, completely unaware of this gift of a better future that was just given to them.

Hula practice.

2008-06-03T21:36:00.000-04:00

Yes, we are practicing our hula hooping in anticipation of R's birthday extravaganza later this month. I would say that as a whole our family is pretty darn talented. We invited the super cool skater nephew's to practice with us, not really knowing for sure if they would take to this non-skater sport, complete with a couple of giggly little girls and some old farts. But if you take a closer look at the photo below, particularly cool skater nephew in the middle, I think it looks like he rather enjoyed himself, even if the hula hoop never actually did make it below his neck.

Husband hula hooped ferociously- as if his life depended on it, but I was not permitted to post the photo's of him in action-I can't imagine why... R donned a bicycle helmet while hooping, just in case. And I actually think I may be able to host the entire birthday party with the hula hoop on, as my hip span actually keeps the hula from falling down, indefinitely. Who knew that my generous hips would come in so handy one day. Just for the record though; it is a child sized hula hoop.

After our hula session we enjoyed a well deserved feast. by the way, we are also going to have water balloons at the party and plan to practice this discipline next weekend.

R's ever evolving headdress obsession.

Blogger savant (and how I showed up late)

2008-06-02T14:01:00.004-04:00

A year ago I had no idea what a blog was for. A year before that I had no idea what a 'desktop' was. When someone would tell me to check my desktop I frantically looked all over the top of my actual desk. A year before that I could not open an attachment. I thought attachments were only for people with a Phd. I became very agitated with rude, clever people who would send me attachments. I never ~~was able to~~ bothered opening them, if it was important enough they could send it to me by regular mail. So there!

When the computer support guy would come to fix my computer at work (usually by turning the power on) I would always nod knowingly while he was throwing around hard core techie words like hard drive, backup files, power button etc. I married K because so impressed was I that he knew how to photo-shop, use something called Skype, and book dinner reservations on the internet. But what really sealed the deal was, when I discovered that he had the ability AND brains to download (or is it upload) photo's from a camera to a computer and on to a (gasp!!!) disc. I thought that this talent would come in very handy should we ever have children. So, not one to miss out on a good opportunity, I talked him into marrying me.

Well, now here I am uploading (or is it downloading?) pictures and music and pasting clustermaps and doing hyperlinks and I am beginning to realize that I really have no use for K anymore. But I am getting off subject now. The point is that I am so proud of myself that I can barely stand it, and now nobody cares because they have all been blogging themselves, about God knows what, since Al Gore invented it.

Also, I could just kick myself for not knowing about adoption blogs while our adoptions were in process. I was so terribly out of the loop. My friends who were not adopting were completely useless to me during the wait. I would only give someone the time of day if they were fellow adoptive parents. And even better, if they were with my agency AND had recently arrived home with their new child. I would stalk them mercilessly upon their homecoming. My logic went something like this: Having 'crossed over' they surely had the mathematical method with which our agency determines who gets which referral and when. And if they did not have this analysis, they surely must have seen my child while in Ethiopia and if they could just briefly describe each and every child to me, I would be able to figure out who we would be matched with. A mother knows things, ya know?

But all this insanity could have been avoided had I been privy to the world of adoption-blogs. All this time there was this huge blog-fest going on behind my back, with inside scoops and travel journals, referral news and photo's of families finally seeing their child/ren for the first time. So yes, I am a day late and a dollar short and I cannot share our adoption journey (the literal one) as it is happening, but I will be damned if I am going to sit idly by, while everyone else is out there being tagged and doing the conga line in blogland. So I will see you all over at Spacebook and Myface shortly, as soon as I figure out what they are...

What is McDonalds thinking?!

2008-05-29T22:52:00.002-04:00

It happened again. Another conglomerate causes complete and total mayhem in my otherwise stress free life. Something urgent came up late this afternoon (I had to nap) and I did not have enough time to prepare a nutritious and tasty meal for my kids, as I normally do every single night. So I decided to stop by McDonald's on the way home from picking the kids up. I have to say first, that this is a very rare treat in our house- (really, it is as rare as television watching, messes, and raised voices) mostly because I hate McDonalds food and always feel like I need to shower after I have eaten a Quarterpounder (it just isn't feasible for a mother of 3 small children to wander off and take shower's on every whim). Well, when the kids realized we were going to McDonald's, their eyes lit up and they shrieked in delight as if I had just offered them a 2 week, unsupervised cruise on a Disney liner.

So we pull in to the drive thru. The kids are all helping me place the long order by barking their preferences out the windows, and then changing their minds six times. I realize that this order-taking machine thingy that I thought I was having a conversation with is not answering me at all. Had I known this I would not have been nearly as polite or apologized so emphatically for changing our order so many times. But of course, it is always the second machine thingy you have to drive up to and I forget that every single time that I (rarely) go there and thus McDonalds has now waisted 7 minutes of my life. We then place our order with the nice machine and proceed to the window to get our food.

The girls are now standing behind me like vultures ready to pounce on the first Happy Meal that enters the car. We happily (because we have our Happy meals) drive off and suddenly I hear a bone chilling shriek from the back seat and a knock-down, drag-out fight ensues between the two sisters because; the Happy meal gifts ARE NOT THE SAME!!! I am not going to name names here, but one child was actually beating the other child with her Happy Meal. This very same Happy Meal that was supposed to make us all so happy. Now I am going to go out on limb here and ask if it is really just too much for McDonalds and large department stores that sell princess dresses, to actually consider their target group of customers and these particular young customers fragile socio-emotional states. Not to mention the extreme and utmost importance that this target age group places on everything being exactly equal? Don't these brain's behind the marketing strategies have children? Or are they so busy finding ways to ruin an other wise nice day for the rest of us.... I'm just asking....

I realize that I have not described how I handled this situation because it has just now occured to me that I don't exactly know who ended up with which toy and how the dispute was resolved. This is the good thing about having a Minivan and a Black Eyed Peas CD. Besides I don't think a hamburger is considered a deadly weapon yet, is it?

Moral of this story is that one should REALLY REALLY entirely skip napping and instead cook nutritious and tasty meal at home without gift lodged in food, thus avoiding major trauma to ones children and more importantly ones own sanity.

Facelift

2008-05-27T23:03:00.000-04:00

Yay, we got a facelift. Thanks to Nikki at 'Blogs For A Cause'. Nikki stylizes blogs for only $20, and man is she fast. I think it took her only one day. She is raising money for an upcoming humanitarian trip to the Dominican Republic. Nikki has a heart for kids and is also donating part of the money to charities that she cares about. So it is a win win situation for everyone. I get a great looking blog while supporting a good cause at the same time. So if any of you blogging Mama's out there are tired of your generic looking blog's and want to spice things up a bit, then Nikki is your girl and you can find her here and find out more about her work here

6 years worth of birthdays in one day.

2008-05-25T22:24:00.001-04:00

K and I have been pondering for a while whether we should throw a birthday party for R, for all the birthday's she has never celebrated. She told us that she has only once celebrated a birthday, it was at her orphanage and it was a group birthday shared with approximately 30 other kids, on a random date. She is very obsessed with birthdays and always considers any gathering involving more than just us a birthday party. Her actual birthday is December 29th and that is an awful long time for a little birthday obsessed girl to wait.

So we decided to plan for a small gathering (just family) in June and when we told her about this tonight, her eyes lit up like little stars and she almost started crying. We discussed her birthday for the entire dinner and she followed me around the house for the following 2 hours asking questions and informing me of her wants and wishes. She even told J several times that she would only invite her if she remembers to bring a present. And it has to be wrapped nicely too. Finally she asked if her girlfriends from Kindergarten were going to come. I guess it is obvious were I am heading here. How could I say no to that! Suddenly I am now having to plan a party, with a theme and heaven knows what for 12 little Kindergarten girls. She has already informed me that she wants a hula-party and she wants to go shopping tomorrow!!!! K and I were talking about a small family thingy. But if anyone deserves a big celebration it definitely is Miss R.

Day by the Bay

2008-05-24T21:44:00.002-04:00

Grab a chair, because I am about to post a TON of photo's from a great day we just spent at a friends house by the Eastern Shore. We came ill-prepared for the sunshine and warm bay waters- since it has been cold here this past week, we did not think to bring swimsuits for the kids. They didn't care though and went swimming in their dresses anyway. R has never been to the ocean- she told us on the way home that Olivia sure has a big pool ( I forgot to ask her what she thought about the enormous sandbox).

What is Disney thinking?!

2008-05-23T23:34:00.001-04:00

I don't get why Disney makes blue princess dresses, when everybody knows that no little girl in her right mind would ever choose the blue dress over the pink one. The purple one is even questionable in my opinion. Standing in the middle of Target with a 4 and 6 year old, both wailing and pulling and tugging on the one and only pink princess dress that is left in the entire tri-state area is enough to push any mother over the edge. I tried to reason with them by saying that Cinderella actually wore a blue dress-HELLLLOOOO. but they were in total denial and actually starting wailing even louder at the mere suggestion of this.

I know by now that most mom's reading this blog would have promptly left the store with no dress for either of them. These girl's were clearly not deserving of such a generous gift. But I am no such mom and apparently have no desire to be, because my solution to this was to sink us into deeper despair by attempting to bribe R with a new Hana Montana wig to go with the horrible blue princess dress that nobody wanted. She actually did stop sobbing briefly to hear my offer- but promptly started again when she realized that even with Hana hair she would not look like a real princess in this joke of a pseudo princess dress. But then in a surprising turn of events, J suddenly decided to take me up on this offer, this came completely out of left field because J is not one to back down EVER. Nothing is up for negotiation with her.

I thought all was settled, but now of course R is threatening that she would rather eat dead caterpillars then have J be the one with the Hana Montana wig. In one final act of moronic parenting (well it probably wont be my final one, but I was going to make sure it was in this store) I bribed J with a very useful ginormous plastic princess ring that lights up in 25 different colors. I bolted out of the store with my 2 sobbing kids and a shopping cart full of flashing rings, wigs and poofy dresses. Sadly, I forgot to buy the gallon of milk and the birthday card that we actually went there for.

Moral of this story is that one should always do a site survey at their store of choice to make sure that the inventory is stocked up with equal amounts of needed toys, before taking kids shopping.

Here is Miss R in her BLUE princess dress and brand new Hana Montana wig. Check out R's socks- nice touch.

Gratuitous pictures of the day.

2008-05-21T21:13:00.001-04:00

Heading off to school.

R and N did not feel like being photographed anymore.

This last photo is really just meant for Mormor, so she can see J's beautiful teeth after a very traumatic visit to the dentist.

Thug Squirrel

2008-05-21T09:42:00.001-04:00

Since I always strive to keep my posts adoption related I thought that I would share that our family has been witness to something interesting, that has been playing out in the wilds of our backyard for the past week or so. First I have to preface this by explaining that the area we live in is considered to be the original home of the black squirrel (along with 27521 other counties scattered across the US). DC has a very large population of black squirrels, apparently because a very long time ago they held them in captivity at the National Zoo, a few escaped and voila now our backyard has become the capitol of the home of the black squirrel. We do have quite a few of the gray squirrels as well, and the black and gray squirrels all did seem to co-exist in perfect harmony, until recently when we started noticing a sad trend out there. Each day there seemed to be fewer and fewer squirrels hanging around. Our back yard is slowly losing its squirrel population.

K seems to think that it is because our neighbor, an elderly aspiring Cinderella has stopped hand feeding peanuts to the squirrels. But I think I know the real reason why. We have one particular squirrel who is terrorizing the rest of the squirrel population, we have actually named him Thug Squirrel. I kid you not, this squirrel has no manners whatsoever and literally grabs peanuts out of the little hands of the other squirrels. This predator is constantly roaming around the yard looking for his next victim and he is usually positioned in a very threatening ready to pounce mode. He sometimes finds enjoyment in hanging ominously on a tree branch just above my head making sounds that are not meant for human ears- driving me to run inside locking all the doors behind me. He chases the other squirrels around the yard for no apparent reason other than to freak them out (yes, squirrels can TOTALLY freak out and it is quite disturbing to watch)

Imagine stepping out on your deck to enjoy a nice glass of wine and then being confronted with this guy. Just look at that face. Would you stick around if you were a squirrel and had this guy in your neighborhood, I think not...

He does get uncomfortably close to our doors, and I know he is out there keeping track of our comings and goings in his little thug squirrel note book. It is only a matter of time before he breaks and enters to steal all of our Kolo- which is priceless to us, as we had to lug about 12 bags of it in our suitcases from Ethiopia. I know this because I have seen him eyeballing the Kolo whenever we sit outside enjoying this Ethiopian treat. Never mind that the Ethiopian convenience store around the corner sells Kolo and everything else that we brought home from Ethiopia for that matter, including the exact same traditional outfits we bought there for the kids. but I digress- We tried to get the police involved in saving our community from this predator, but recieved a lackluster response, something along the lines of them not having the man power to police squirrels. Hmmmpf.

Dangerously cute!

2008-05-20T22:58:00.001-04:00

Now that Jason Castro has been booted off American Idol, I have nothing better to do than post ridiculous ramblings about nothing in particular. But I did want to share an alarming situation that has arisen in our home. I think N is scared of me. I seem to be stalking him as of late. I just have this uncontrollable urge to pick him up and smother his little face with kisses at any given moment. The feeling hits me like I am being sucked into a jet engine- and I dart out of nowhere and scoop his little unsuspecting body up, while he screams out in shock and the girls look on in terror.

I can't control myself he is so freakin' cute. I had to kiss him 75 times in a row this afternoon all the while he was pleading 'Dop it mommy, pweeeze dop it'. K had to interfere and remind me that 'no means no'. I think I even gave the poor little guy a hickey. I know I need to back off- this became frighteningly apparent when I found myself staring, while driving, at his cherubic little face in the rear view mirror for just a little too long. This staring session almost caused a massive pile up on Connecticut Avenue during rush hour. My obsession with his cuteness has become a hazard to the general public now. I dont remember any other 2 year olds ever being this cute. Ever. Really.....

Whew....that was close...

2008-05-19T22:21:00.001-04:00

Our home study social worker was here today for our second post-placement visit and it was a big day for us- because we had to remedy the disaster she witnessed here during the first visit, 2 months ago. I did not blog about it at the time, partly because it was terribly embarrassing and partly because I think I might have been in the middle of a jet lag induced nervous breakdown- compounded by the fact that we suddenly found ourselves with 3 kids;, one child who did not speak English, another who had/has chronic whining issues and, of course, a toddler in the throes of the terrible two's.

So now that we have recieved validation that we are not raising little brats, I will revisit that dark, miserable day back in March.

The social worker arrived here in the afternoon and was greeted at the front door by little N who, of course, had just gotten a massive black eye due to a run in with a chair earlier in the day (it is important to note that this happened during Dad's shift). His eye was pretty much swollen shut. We tried to come up with a plan to hide him or send him to boarding school, but there just was not enough time and the SW would certainly have questioned his absence. So as soon as the SW stepped foot in our house K and I immediately began defending ourselves and completely over explained the incident fearing that she would report us to child protective services. After we got that out of the way- feeling confident that we had convinced her of our innocence- R decided she wanted to pretend to be a baby and proceeded to scream at the top of her lungs, until she had herself (and the rest of us) convinced that she actually was a severely colicky newborn trapped in the body of a 6 year old. This screaming fit lasted for most of the visit, making it impossible for us to have a conversation, let alone discuss any issues we might be having (HA). J spent most of the visit either standing on her head on the couch while sticking her feet in the general direction of the social workers face, or going through our poor visitor's handbag- at that point I had pretty much given up. Thankfully she did not have the kids removed from our home, but she did call me a couple of times during the week 'just to check up' on us. I always replied in one of those suspiciously over enthusiastic 'everything is WONDERFUL' ways, that was not very convincing and I don't think she was buying it either because she continued to 'check in' on us anyway.

Well, lo and behold- today, for the entire visit, the kids were quiet and on their best behavior. What a difference a few months have made. Well, except for one fleeting moment when N dropped his ice cream in her lap, oh and except for when R had to go to the bathroom and left the door open (did I mention she still has noisy giardia? noisy being the operative word here) and yelled MOM, I am FINIIIIIIIIIIIISHED!!! right while we were in the middle of cookies and coffee and praises over how great the kids were doing. Other than that it was a completely different scene from last time. The social worker left 5 hours ago (with a smile on her face, thank you very much)-and she hasn't called us yet- but, boy, all of that good behavior was exhausting.

So the moral of this post is, that one should NEVER NEVER schedule a post-placement visit in the first week of arriving home with new child. The second moral is that no amount of pre post placement visit coaching is really going to help if your kids are under the age of 6.

More singing

2008-05-17T00:49:00.000-04:00

Yes, they are available for weddings and bar mitzvah's.